My husband is in a CH so you can imagine the guilt I feel after living together in a very happy marriage for nearly 40 years. Up to this illness we had never had a night apart! However, I knew that I could no longer continue to care for him single handed 24/7, 52 weeks a year. It was just too much.
I now visit him every day and we have developed our own routine which fits in with the mealtimes at the home. We have our afternoons together - I either take him out or we go for a walk as he loves to be outdoors whenever possible. Free from the 24/7 responsibility we now have special quality time together, where I am refreshed and can cope with his problems without the stresses which this put our relationship under before.
The home is excellent - warm, friendly and caring. They make me feel that I am an important part of a team effort. He is safe, well cared for and in a routine which suits his dementia and which I could never provide on a daily basis. All of these things have benefitted him.
On balance, although us not being together 24/7 does cause him distress, I think that I have, in the long run, done the very best for him by letting him be where he now is. I still feel very much involved in his life and he in mine.
So, keep your chin up and keep visiting - This will go a long, long way towards easing your mind.
xxTinaT