It's over.

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
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Mum has been in hospital for 2 weeks or so having gone backwards regarding dementia agitation screaming etc.
Got a call yesterday afternoon regarding discharge on Monday. Went to bed intending to visit today before todays football game to hold her hand.
Instead got a call at 10 past 6 this morning that shes gone.
Broken
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
75,814
0
73
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read your news @Thebeyond.

Sending my condolences and wishing you strength. Please keep coming to the forum for support.
 

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
0
Thank you Izzy.
All i can say is to those who still have to look after someone ,no matter how difficult they are,, try to see them as they were while they are here and do your best. It will slay you when you get the call
 

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
0
Thank you Dawn, Gosling and SAP.
It's the bad dream i guess everyone here dreads.
We Just won on penalties in the game and i'm crying and smiling
 

SkyeD

Registered User
Oct 3, 2022
252
0
Sorry to hear your sad news @Thebeyond
Wishing you strength and peace for the foreseeable future.
(Pleased to hear that (I'm presuming) you watched the match... it was hard-going but at least we're through to the semi-final :) )
S x
 

Alisongs

Registered User
May 17, 2024
709
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Mum has been in hospital for 2 weeks or so having gone backwards regarding dementia agitation screaming etc.
Got a call yesterday afternoon regarding discharge on Monday. Went to bed intending to visit today before todays football game to hold her hand.
Instead got a call at 10 past 6 this morning that shes gone.
Broken
So sudden. So awful that this happened when there was optimism and hope of discharge. That's quite a shock. Deep breaths. Mum is at peace now. Beyond dementia, agitation and screaming. What's your favourite memory of your Mum? I think of my late mum as a spirit wandering her home town, swimming and rowing in the lake, walking in the forests and cycling round the area as she loved to do as a teenager. 🤗🫂
 

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
0
Thank you Skyed, yes i watched the game as in a profound time that we only experience once the only thing for me to do was..... what i intended to do.....and they were good penalties
Alisongs thank you as well....like you say one extreme to the other. The sad thing being i intended to visit yesterday as well, but had to stay in in case they discharged her yesterday as they changed it .Got the call saying it would be Monday so decided to stay home and go today, but at least i was there the day before and told her she would be coming home soon....and she has.
Favourite memory is her indulging my love of music as a child and buying me records as i asked with me being too naive to understand money doesn't grow on trees. Thank you all for your kindness as have never lived a direct relative loss before just my good friend in 2011
 

Alisongs

Registered User
May 17, 2024
709
0
Thank you Skyed, yes i watched the game as in a profound time that we only experience once the only thing for me to do was..... what i intended to do.....and they were good penalties
Alisongs thank you as well....like you say one extreme to the other. The sad thing being i intended to visit yesterday as well, but had to stay in in case they discharged her yesterday as they changed it .Got the call saying it would be Monday so decided to stay home and go today, but at least i was there the day before and told her she would be coming home soon....and she has.
Favourite memory is her indulging my love of music as a child and buying me records as i asked with me being too naive to understand money doesn't grow on trees. Thank you all for your kindness as have never lived a direct relative loss before just my good friend in 2011
Just keep going over the good memories. They'll stick with you
 

SherwoodSue

Registered User
Jun 18, 2022
758
0
We try and imagine THE moment and feel we are prepared, but when it comes ……..
It’s so hard.

I am so sorry

Deepest condolences
 

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
0
Thank you Alisongs. i will,i guess the journey has just begun.
Thank you also GrannieG and SherwoodSu x
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
1,195
0
So sorry for your loss @Thebeyond, try and take some comfort that your Mum is now free from this awful illness, and from what you have written her passing was quick. That is difficult and a shock for you but a blessed release for your Mum.

As others have said try and remember your happier times with your mum, be kind to yourself and take care in these difficult days ahead
 

scotlass

Registered User
Jul 9, 2023
321
0
oh what a shock that must have been, I'm so sorry for you, I know she'll be at peace now but she was your mum and you loved her ,and no matter how ill or how old , it's still heartbreaking...take care, in the weeks and months ahead you'll remember the good times...x
 

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
0
Thank you so much to Jale and Scotlass.
The reality is kicking in now, but have been able to see body and hold her hand.
Have registered her death today. All a strange new world at moment.
One day and tear at a time.
First came here abou 4 years ago when mum first descended into symptoms and the people were great in helping me getting things moved forward and getting correct help. For that i will always be greatful as it gave mum a few more years of cogency and she managed to give me a few laughs along the way as she sometimes reverted to her naughty orphan schoolgirl childhood which gave me new insights into her pre me life and memories to hold onto. But as we all know here ,dementia is also a sly dirty foe that can drive us as carers and family to a dark place and say and feel things we don't really mean when push comes to shove. So please continue to look out for each other here.
 

T1000

Registered User
Feb 3, 2022
241
0
I am so sorry to hear this, it's nothing you can be prepared for even when it happens. I hope you are able to take some time and that you have people around you. Heartbreaking when it is so unexpected and quick, I take comfort that mum went quick even though I would have wanted to say goodbye.
 

Thebeyond

Registered User
May 13, 2022
67
0
Thank you T1000,
Sorry for your loss. I wish i could have said goodbye as well. The reason i didnt go the day before was due to the call saying she was coming home on Monday. I intended to go on the Saturday and did under very different circumstances.
I take comfort from the fact i went on Thursday and held her hand and stayed a while even though she was drifting into sleep.
The truth is if we went a thousand times during visiting hours we probably would have missed the moment so we mustn't beat ourselves over details we couldn't control.
Take comfort my friend