It's not incontinence, exactly ...

[Essie]

Could you approach it on that basis then CG, that these measures are 'just for now, whilst this is happening' and that when your Mum doesn't need them anymore they are easily removed. And that they're there to make things easier for your Mum, rather than easier for your Dad? For instance, she wouldn't have to be able to make it all the way to the loo if there's a commode right next to her and her sleep will be less disrupted with Kylie sheets and her rest is important.

It's probably a step too far given what you've said but would he agree to pull-ups for Mum for night times? Tena are the best by a long way (in my experience) and they do an extra absorbent night time one that a friend of mine swore by for his mother - he said it weighed a ton when he took it off in the morning but his Mum slept soundly all night and the bed was always dry.


Re my previous post, thanks Sue! On the basis of that I have named Tena, wish I did have shares in them, huge market!

 

[Katrine]

We use that product with every wash to prevent cross-contamination. I buy the Fragrance Free version because the Spring Fresh one smells slightly of disinfectant. I haven't seen the Fragrance Free in the supermarket, only on Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dettol-Anti...ragrance/dp/B00NP3KQTE/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp
If you do Prime you can get it delivered on Subscribe and Save.

 

[Essie]

I use the 'Soothing Lavender' version which I find is pleasant and fresh but not overpowering. It says it kills 99.9% of bacteria - well, here's hoping but it makes me feel better for using it!

 

[Beate]

A Kylie sheet isn't uncomfortable or in the way. Maybe emphasise the advantages to your mum's health, I.e. Skin health as it draws moisture away from the skin and thus largely avoids skin rashes.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you all. Mam already wears pads, Essie, but on these occasions she just pulls her pants down so I don't know whether pull ups would help unfortunately

I'll pass on all the very helpful info and tips, thanks!

 

[Lilac Blossom]

Lots of helpful replies on this thread and I can agree with all that has been suggested.

Years ago hubby developed prostate problems, one of which was leakage, and that was when I discovered those Kylie products. I bought them from AGE uk on line - if you let them know when ordering that they are for home use, eg not care/nursing home, you are exempt from VAT - probably this would be the case no matter who you buy them from so it is worth knowing about.

You were wondering about absorbency capacity, College Girl. Well I would not have known how much would be a normal amount of urine produced overnight but hubby has had a catheter for about two years and the overnight bag holds 2 litres. Hubby's night bag is full when I remove it in the morning and district nurse says it is not often that people produce so much overnight. I think the details of Kylie said it has 4 litre capacity so more than ample.

I have always placed the Kylie on top of hubby's bottom sheet - so easy to change. It is soft and very comfortable to lie on - he is never "overheated" or uncomfortable.

Because we already had this arrangement in place due to prostate probs, it was not something new he had to accept when dementia invaded.

Now I'm on the lookout for that new laundry product which sounds ideal

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you Lilac Blossom, that's really helpful and reassuring. I'm also going to mention that laundry product to dad.

 

[Sue J]

Just a thought CG as this is obviously a very difficult one your Mam obviously knowing she needs the loo but no recognition of appropriate surroundings. Would having a commode help, at least in the bedroom so that your Dad may at least have some chance of steering her to it quickly and avoiding a mishap??

Hope something helpsxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thanks Sue - I did suggest a commode but he doesn't want to consider it. Thanks anyway

Piph - I'm sorry, I don't know enough to answer your question, but I'm sure someone will be along shortly with some experienced advice!

 

[Katrine]

Eek, piph! Electric blankets are dangerous if they get wet. We had one for a while but every time it went for its annual service it failed and we got sent a new one. After 3 replacements we decided that we didn't want to risk a fire.

Could she manage with a hot water bottle instead? If it was me, I would take the fuse out of the plug to the blanket.

 

[Katrine]

I know - I've told her time and time again! I can't take the fuse out as it has a moulded plug, ans she'd just assume it was broken and demand a new one! She really can't live without it. She has arthritis in her spine and sometimes laying on the hot blanket is the only thing that will ease it!

If anyone else has got any ideas please let me know!

You can get heated pet pads with low voltage transformer, wipe clean finish. Have a look on Amazon.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Hello again all - just thought I'd update you.

Today I showed dad the Kylie sheets on the link, and he said that he does already have some sort of pad on the bed that he thinks is okay. (He puts it under the sheet, though, so he does have to wash the sheet when it gets wet.) He said thank you but he feels he doesn't need anything extra.

Ho hum.

I very much appreciate everyone's help in this matter, thank you.

 

[sistermillicent]

Total sympathies, CG, for having a dad who won't do the simple thing that will make his life easier. Completely understand how soul destroying this is and that we have to respect their decisions (and massive respect or their unending caring) but sometimes, oh dear, it is just so frustrating. I have no suggestions for your mum's current issues, it was actually easier for us as mum deteriorated because she became compliant and trips to the toilet were successful.

Hoping you can keep going and keep encouraging your dad on, it's difficult sometimes isn't it. xx

 

[Sue J]

I was thinking about your poor Dad CG and how he admirably he struggles on but like sistermillicent see how hard it is for you to watch him. I think caring for someone so closely limits your own perspective so much that it is hard to even think that anyone else can understand or accept and take on board suggestions that could be tried to improve things, which is why TP is so good, such a shame he can't join or even be in touch locally with other carers he could share with.

Thinking of youxx

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you SisterM and Sue. My lovely dad is amazing, so I will just have to pipe down and stop trying to make him do things he doesn't want to.

But oh it is hard .

 

[Anongirl]

Hello again all - just thought I'd update you.

Today I showed dad the Kylie sheets on the link, and he said that he does already have some sort of pad on the bed that he thinks is okay. (He puts it under the sheet, though, so he does have to wash the sheet when it gets wet.) He said thank you but he feels he doesn't need anything extra.

Ho hum.

I very much appreciate everyone's help in this matter, thank you.

This sounds similar to the pads on my little boy's bed. He has an irritable bladder and sometimes has little accidents. It feels like I'm constantly washing his bottom sheets.

Perhaps when your dad finds he can't keep up with washing he might give in to your help! X

 

[Essie]

Thanks for updating CG, I do feel for you, your Dad sounds a lovely chap doing an amazing job. You can always revisit this thread at another time if your Dad does accept that more intervention is necessary - and do, if there is an appropriate moment, remind him that all the advice here isn't just from well meaning but ill informed friends or family (as kindly as that advice may be meant) - we've ALL been there, seen it, done that/still doing it - we do know what it's like and how hard it can be on so many levels.

Best wishes to you and your Mum and Dad.

 

[CollegeGirl]

Thank you so much AG and Essie xx