1. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224
    My visits to my OH have vastly become more enjoyable, I feel so unsettled because he just wants to come home but realistically there may be quite a few problems if he did, not only does he have to have access to Nursing staff but his cognition and how he misunderstands situations would undoubtedly be tricky.

    I am just hoping a time will come when I can have him home for the day on a regular basis, am I living in "cloud cuckoo land". Some days he seems so ok.!!:(:( SL
     
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    If you can find someone to chat with at the place your hubby is at, and to explore his situation with an intelligent someone who understands him; why not just ask? You know what you're capable of coping with, Silver Lining. Doesn't hurt to at least ask :)
     
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    #3 truth24, May 6, 2015
    Last edited: May 6, 2015
    Can only share what I was told when I suggested I might bring Fred home on occasions and that was that at best he would be confused at 'new' surroundings and at worst he might refuse to go back and the upset would start àll over again.
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,525
    Female
    South coast
    Strangely enough, Mums reaction was the opposite - she did not recognise her home at all.
    She had begun to not accept her bungalow as home before she went into her CH and the one day that a friend of hers and I took her back to choose some things for her room she got quite aggressive wanting to know whose home it was and why had we brought her there? When I said that it was her own bungalow and everything belonged to her she did not believe it. We had to go away again.
     
  5. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    How I understand your feelings of hoping that you will be able to take your husband home for the day - I was advised against it when my husband went into care not least for the same reason that Truth has mentioned - he might become very confused and taking him back to the NH would cause even more confusion and distress. He often said to me "Let's go" meaning home but I soon realised that his conception of home varied from day to day. Sometimes he even referred to home as where he had been brought up as a child in London. I agree with Chuggs - ask for advice at the Care Home before making a decision. WIFE
     
  6. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224
    That is a distinct possibility with my OH who keeps asking to come home, this is so hard :(:(:(
     
  7. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    That sounds really heartbreaking Silver. You've got your own grief to deal with and the distressed feelings of your husband, and you've got to be the one who is strong. So much to deal with. Sending you a huge (((((((((hug))))))))) and love. Es
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  8. Silver Lining

    Silver Lining Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    224
    Thank you - I dont know how some of you cope with their partner being at home, I suppose I feel a bit guilty but I don't think I would have been able to cope much longer as my health was really suffering. SL
     

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