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It's life Jim - but not as we know it!

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
739
Basingstoke, Hampshire
Yesterday evening was not good. I was in the study when my husband appeared at the door with heavily soiled disposable pants. "Shall I put these in the bin?" he asked.
I disposed of them and then followed him to the bathroom where he had removed them. It was all over the floor. He'd also trodden it into the hall. His trousers, also soiled, were on the bed which was also now marked.
I smiled and calmly cleaned up after him, trying not to worry him. Apart from when he had his fall last month this was the first time this had happened. I'm assuming that he had tried to make his way to the toilet but hadn't quite made it. But I tried to keep it all calm as if it was quite normal. After all he hadn't tried to hide it like I've read how some do.
No need to comment on here, I'm just recording this event for my own benefit. I'm just wondering if this is the start of something.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,054
Kent
I'm just wondering if this is the start of something.
It could be or it could be an infection without obvious symptoms. My husband had quite a few mishaps which proved to be the result of an infection I had no idea he had.

The first of most apparent progressions are quite upsetting. All we can do is check for imfections and if none are present, adjust our awareness accordingly.

I`m pleased for you re the Blue Badge @jenniferjean. What we get with one hand is taken away by the other. :(
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
528
Yesterday evening was not good. I was in the study when my husband appeared at the door with heavily soiled disposable pants. "Shall I put these in the bin?" he asked.
I disposed of them and then followed him to the bathroom where he had removed them. It was all over the floor. He'd also trodden it into the hall. His trousers, also soiled, were on the bed which was also now marked.
I smiled and calmly cleaned up after him, trying not to worry him. Apart from when he had his fall last month this was the first time this had happened. I'm assuming that he had tried to make his way to the toilet but hadn't quite made it. But I tried to keep it all calm as if it was quite normal. After all he hadn't tried to hide it like I've read how some do.
No need to comment on here, I'm just recording this event for my own benefit. I'm just wondering if this is the start of something.
Hi @jenniferjean, I've posted a similar incident, it's horrendous isn't it, luckily I found him in the bathroom before he'd been able to tread it all over the house and there was one other incident when he'd been engrossed in a movie and I think didn't realise he needed to go. I'm hoping it was just a reaction to the flu jab and it hasn't happened since but it makes you tense doesn't it, in my case I'm now extra vigilant and always asking his if he needs the toilet, which annoys him when he understands what I'm saying, often he doesn't understand what I'm saying anyway! I live in fear of it happening when we're out shopping and now scared to take him to the cinema or any other events.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
528
He has been complaining of an itchy back recently. I've looked but can't find anything showing on his back. I've put cream on.
That's weird, my partner always has an itchy back in the mornings, he'll wake up and start scratching every morning but I can't see anything, this has been going on for a long time, I wondered if it was related to his Donepezil.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
739
Basingstoke, Hampshire
That's weird, my partner always has an itchy back in the mornings, he'll wake up and start scratching every morning but I can't see anything, this has been going on for a long time, I wondered if it was related to his Donepezil.
My husband has only recently started with his itchy back whereas he's been on Donepezil for years.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
739
Basingstoke, Hampshire
It's just gone 5.30 a.m. and I've been up for a couple of hours. Just couldn't get back to sleep and lay there worrying about whether I'm doing as well as I should. Everyone says how I am doing well and being strong but I don't always feel it. I think it's all part of my depression but sometimes I just want to say "I've had enough". And then I come on here and see that others have it a lot worse than me and that should make me pull myself together. But it doesn't. I know I am suffering from a lack of sleep but sometimes I just can't sleep. There is so much going on in my head. I still need to try and contact the doctor about my husband's itchy back. I've just had so much going on at the moment that I've put off trying to arrange to talk to the doctor. They get me so wound up.

And now the computer is giving me grief. I've just lost part of my post.

I can't remember what I said. So I'm going to go and make myself a cup of tea and see if that helps.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,054
Kent
I hope you managed some sleep @jenniferjean. It`s even more lonely in the early hours when you are alone with your thoughts.

`Everyone` may be right, you are doing well and being strong but it doesn`t change to way you feel inside which is why you are awake and posting at 5.30am.

Your computer playing silly beggars won`t help either. It is often our only link with the world when we are full time carers.

It might not be a bad idea for the doctor to see how wound up you get. It will be recorded.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
528
It's just gone 5.30 a.m. and I've been up for a couple of hours. Just couldn't get back to sleep and lay there worrying about whether I'm doing as well as I should. Everyone says how I am doing well and being strong but I don't always feel it. I think it's all part of my depression but sometimes I just want to say "I've had enough". And then I come on here and see that others have it a lot worse than me and that should make me pull myself together. But it doesn't. I know I am suffering from a lack of sleep but sometimes I just can't sleep. There is so much going on in my head. I still need to try and contact the doctor about my husband's itchy back. I've just had so much going on at the moment that I've put off trying to arrange to talk to the doctor. They get me so wound up.

And now the computer is giving me grief. I've just lost part of my post.

I can't remember what I said. So I'm going to go and make myself a cup of tea and see if that helps.
You have my sympathies @jenniferjean being a carer is a hard life and it's so difficult to keep having to be strong when all you want is for someone to come in and take over so you can have a break. Everything seems worse if you don't get enough sleep. I sprayed some athletes foot spray on my partner's itchy back, it seems to have done the trick! Well there didn't seem to be any obvious sign of skin condition or irritation. Have you done an internet search, apparently it could be something as simple as dry skin or not washing properly or allergy to soap.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
739
Basingstoke, Hampshire
My husband had a hospital appointment yesterday. Due to the time of the appointment and the fact that it is a two bus ride journey, I decided that we would have a bite of lunch in town.
I ordered scones and coffee for him and tea for me. The scones were very crumbly and so he made quite a mess with his. But the cartoon capers began with the coffee. He can't drink his coffee too hot but we had plenty of time to kill so I told him to let it cool. After a while I told him to try his coffee as it had cooled down. He attempted to pick up the cup but it was quite a large cup and he struggled. He was going to leave it but I called the waitress over and asked her if she could put it in a smaller cup and maybe throw away the rest. She took away the coffee and came back with it in two smaller cups. Well he looked at them and then asked me which was his. I told him both were his and explained what the waitress had done.
He picked up one and tried it, then put it down announcing that "that one is too cold". He then picked up the other and tried it, then put that down announcing that "that one hasn't any sugar in it". I just had to laugh, it was like Goldilocks and the three bears.
It was just as well we did stop for lunch before the hospital visit as we spent two and a half hours at the hospital, which was for his eyes following his cataract removal he had last September. His appointment was 2.15 but we arrived at 1.45 so I knew we'd have to wait. At 2.45 I did ask the nurse how much longer it would be because he was getting agitated. She went and asked and came back telling me we were next to see the doctor. At 3.30 we were called and taken for scans. I spoke to the technician and said about being told we were next to see the doctor three quarters of an hour ago. She explained that the doctor had decided she wanted scans doing before seeing him. But she did say to me that in future, when first arriving, I should mention about his condition so that if there is a delay they could put him in a bit earlier. Whether that would be the case remains to be seen.
 

LesG

New member
Jan 9, 2020
2
Oh gosh that happens to my hubby when hes eating, his nose just drips sometimes,, and he sneezes a lot when hes eating, didnt realise that it was part of the dementia.
WOW! I was getting really frustrated with this and couldn't understand why my husband doesn't notice when it happens. Thank you so much now I know I can watch for this especially when we eat out.
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
739
Basingstoke, Hampshire
Just recently my husband has started picking up one of my five year old grandson's book and looked at the pictures. He also occasionally picks up a rspb magazine but only looks at the front page.
I did wonder about subscribing to a nature magazine for him, but I wasn't sure which to get. I didn't want one with a lot of reading matter as he's not going to read it.
But now I'm pondering on something else. I thought I'd pop into the library now and again and pick up children's wildlife books especially ones with a lot of pictures.
If I go on my take-a-break day, at least when I get back and he asks me where I've been I can tell him I've been to the library for him. I just hope he will accept that they are children's books. Any views on that?
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
528
Just recently my husband has started picking up one of my five year old grandson's book and looked at the pictures. He also occasionally picks up a rspb magazine but only looks at the front page.
I did wonder about subscribing to a nature magazine for him, but I wasn't sure which to get. I didn't want one with a lot of reading matter as he's not going to read it.
But now I'm pondering on something else. I thought I'd pop into the library now and again and pick up children's wildlife books especially ones with a lot of pictures.
If I go on my take-a-break day, at least when I get back and he asks me where I've been I can tell him I've been to the library for him. I just hope he will accept that they are children's books. Any views on that?
My daughter bought my partner a lovely book called The Lost Words by Robert MacFarlane and Jackie Morris, it's full of beautiful illustrations, you can pick it up reasonably cheaply on ebay, actually looking again the cheaper ones are other formats, the new book cost £20 but there are some a bit less on the internet.
 
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