Two years on from my wife's permanent move into a care home I have started tackling the task of sorting out and disposing of some of her clothes. She has been a size 8 or petite size for as long as I can remember. Good food matched with a good appetite and not much physical exercise (compared to the miles we used to walk) has meant that her weight has gone up from her usual 7 stone. She looks well and there seems to be no harm in it. I see no point in hanging onto clothes that don't match her lifestyle, are too complicated (buttons, zips, hook and eyes), don't fit and - in many cases - haven't been worn in years. I would rather buy her new items that she is able to wear with comfort.
I have read elsewhere in these Forums that some people find it hard to part with their partner's clothes, as if somehow they are parting with the person that they love (whilst still alive) or are being unfaithful to their memory. That isn't how it seems to me. I don't have any emotional investment in my wife's clothes, some of which I have never seen before. I would rather pass them on to a charity that might be able to make something from them. Many pairs of trousers and skirts have already gone but there's plenty more to do.
I am not closing the door on our life as a couple or denying how important those clothes once were to my wife. But realism tells me that "it's just stuff". The real emotional bond between us lies in my visits to see her and the memories that come back to me as I write her a weekly letter.
I have read elsewhere in these Forums that some people find it hard to part with their partner's clothes, as if somehow they are parting with the person that they love (whilst still alive) or are being unfaithful to their memory. That isn't how it seems to me. I don't have any emotional investment in my wife's clothes, some of which I have never seen before. I would rather pass them on to a charity that might be able to make something from them. Many pairs of trousers and skirts have already gone but there's plenty more to do.
I am not closing the door on our life as a couple or denying how important those clothes once were to my wife. But realism tells me that "it's just stuff". The real emotional bond between us lies in my visits to see her and the memories that come back to me as I write her a weekly letter.