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It's going to be one of those days

Del24

Registered User
Aug 17, 2014
67
Hertfordshire
My wife seems determined to do the opposite of what I ask like Homer and Bart Simson.
I thought she might get more amicable but no such luck.
I will try to get her to have a nap she might be better then.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,231
Yorkshire
Hi Del24
I hope your wife had a nap - maybe you managed one too - and that your day improved.

Maybe you would consider that it might be wise to pick your battles - and not fight the ones that make little difference either way.
In your earlier post you wrote:
My wife was in the wheelchair in pyjamas so changed her top part then with the aid of a walker stood her up to change her trousers the only problem was she didn't want to do it no amount of pleading would change her mind.
I had to lift her out of the chair without her helping so I was lifting 70kg and at the same time pulling up her trousers and then sitting her in the armchair.
If you have no plans to go out, and there is no hygiene issue, maybe a day in pj bottoms is not such a big issue - I know we all tend to feel we should be properly dressed during the day, but as long as your wife is decent and warm, that's what matters.

I am, though, really worried about you lifting her, especially without her co-operation. Dad nearly injured himself badly lifting my mum; he only started considering himself when I pointed out that if he ruined his back, he wouldn't be able to care for her at all - and after a couple of falls when he had to concede and call the paramedics to help him lift her.
I appreciate that I don't know your situation - maybe, though, your wife would be fine sitting in the wheelchair for a while; maybe waiting until she wants to move to her chair could make the moving easier for you both.
Maybe you could have a chat with an Occupational Therapist - contact through Adult Services - they may be able to offer more aids to take the strain.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Hi Del24
I hope your wife had a nap - maybe you managed one too - and that your day improved.

Maybe you would consider that it might be wise to pick your battles - and not fight the ones that make little difference either way.
In your earlier post you wrote:

If you have no plans to go out, and there is no hygiene issue, maybe a day in pj bottoms is not such a big issue - I know we all tend to feel we should be properly dressed during the day, but as long as your wife is decent and warm, that's what matters.

Very wise words Shedrech. Picking your battles is such a major aspect in the life of a carer. I wasted many years correcting John over silly things, only for him to repeat them immediately. It was a slow learning curve for me, but eventually, I realised how much better it was for both of us, if I just meandered along his chosen route.

Although I always tried to ensure he looked like the Old Him, clean shaven, hair brushed, clean clothes etc, daily baths or showers, I realised that I wasn't able to maintain this standard indefinitely. I also corrected him, to no avail, if he said it was the wrong day/time of day/month or even year, so I just agreed, and he was so pleased thinking that he'd "got it right".

So I learned to let things go, and frankly they made life sooooooooooo much easier. Mediocrity became an accepted standard. ;) I hope your day has improved Del, and that you also get some help, like Shedrech suggested.