It's going to be a long winter

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Sorry to be so negative first thing in the morning. There's no sign of an infection, just a new phase of giving up. C wouldn't go out with her daughter yesterday, she was afraid of her bladder playing up. Her bladder is fine after a few worries last week. She managed to go out with her son on Friday, and I think the struggle on the step coming out the pub frightened her. She won't admit it though, instead just refuses to go to her club today. She got rather spiteful and said I should just g out anyway and be with my floosies. That hurt, even if part f the reason for taking her to the club is to have some relaxing time with friends.
Not really looking for tea and sympathy or advice, just getting my head clear. Thanks for reading.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Sorry your day has started that way.

I find that my wife's confusion is often at it's worst first thing - I think she struggles with the transition from sleep.

I sincerely hope it improves for you.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Wow. A floosie or two sounds like fun. Sometimes you have to call their bluff and go out even if you only walk round the block. I have a really strong aversion against bullying whether intentional or because the person is ill. It is so dispiriting and can make you dislike the person doing it no matter how tolerant you are.

Could you take her to the club in time for lunch just to make sure she doesn't make a habit of this?
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Thanks Pete and Marion. No, she is too stubborn for that idea Marion, I'll take a wee walk to the shop for lunch and maybe head out later for a pint, but too tired to go chasing floosies. :D
 

Sad Staffs

Registered User
Jun 26, 2018
696
0
Sorry to be so negative first thing in the morning. There's no sign of an infection, just a new phase of giving up. C wouldn't go out with her daughter yesterday, she was afraid of her bladder playing up. Her bladder is fine after a few worries last week. She managed to go out with her son on Friday, and I think the struggle on the step coming out the pub frightened her. She won't admit it though, instead just refuses to go to her club today. She got rather spiteful and said I should just g out anyway and be with my floosies. That hurt, even if part f the reason for taking her to the club is to have some relaxing time with friends.
Not really looking for tea and sympathy or advice, just getting my head clear. Thanks for reading.
Gosh, isn’t it all such hard work!
Everything!
Our intertwined lives.
Living their life for them because they can’t live their life themselves anymore.
Fighting with them for their own good.
Or because you feel you have had enough and need some time for yourself.
I really feel for you...
Thinking of you...
Would I be classed as one of your floosies! No! I’m far too old and worn out to ever be classed as a floosie. TP friend, yes ...
Love B xx
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
0
72
Dundee
Sorry you’re down Rob. These progressions are never easy.

Shame about the floosies. Bill used to accuse me of having affairs with any workmen who came to the house. :eek:
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Do you think it's more down to insecurity and fear then, Izzy ?
The dilemma of course @Sad Staffs is the way we do need time and friends (on TP or in person), but then the dementia causes that to be seen as abandoning her. If we don't get an hour to ourselves every day we crack up and are no good to anyone. It's nothing new and others have more to worry about, but these are the days it comes into focus.
 

jimbo 111

Registered User
Jan 23, 2009
5,080
0
North Bucks
Sorry to be so negative first thing in the morning. There's no sign of an infection, just a new phase of giving up. C wouldn't go out with her daughter yesterday, she was afraid of her bladder playing up. Her bladder is fine after a few worries last week. She managed to go out with her son on Friday, and I think the struggle on the step coming out the pub frightened her. She won't admit it though, instead just refuses to go to her club today. She got rather spiteful and said I should just g out anyway and be with my floosies. That hurt, even if part f the reason for taking her to the club is to have some relaxing time with friends.
Not really looking for tea and sympathy or advice, just getting my head clear. Thanks for reading.
I can empathise and sympathise with you and any other members with this problem When Helen was alive I used to just say as loud as possible B******* It Usd to make me feel better
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,447
0
Kent
Have you checked for ramps in the places C visits with her family @nae sporran? If there, they might solve the problem of the steps.

Slowly, slowly carers become housebound and it`s not a good place to be.

Total sympathy, for what it`s worth.
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Have you checked for ramps in the places C visits with her family @nae sporran? If there, they might solve the problem of the steps.

Slowly, slowly carers become housebound and it`s not a good place to be.

Total sympathy, for what it`s worth.

Thanks Sylvia. The day centre has ramps and a wheelchair lift. Normally I do check whether pubs, cafes and restaurants are accessible, but despite the place we went last week being a regular haunt I didn't notice.:oops: That and the reaction are just another lesson to think about next time.
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,937
0
Gosh, isn’t it all such hard work!
Everything!
Our intertwined lives.
Living their life for them because they can’t live their life themselves anymore.
Fighting with them for their own good.
Or because you feel you have had enough and need some time for yourself.
I really feel for you...
Thinking of you...
Would I be classed as one of your floosies! No! I’m far too old and worn out to ever be classed as a floosie. TP friend, yes ...
Love B xx
Oh now then, I wouldn't mind being classed as a floosie! wonderful word.
Gxxx
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
All is well again, for now. C slept for the rest of the morning and then expressed surprise I made her lunch after she was "naughty". We managed to get out for the biggest cheesecake I've seen for a while at a farm shop café on the road to Wells.
That was a relief, but I'm not daft enough to think it will last.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,001
0
72
Dundee
I'm sorry I missed your earlier question Rob. I've not been back on the forum today. Yes I think insecurity and fear may well be what it's all about. It was in the early days of dementia with us and I used to get really upset. In time it disappeared and was, of course, replaced with something else.

I'm glad your day ended well. Wishing you both many more.
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
I'm sorry I missed your earlier question Rob. I've not been back on the forum today. Yes I think insecurity and fear may well be what it's all about. It was in the early days of dementia with us and I used to get really upset. In time it disappeared and was, of course, replaced with something else.

I'm glad your day ended well. Wishing you both many more.
Thanks Izzy.
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
What a difference a week makes. Today Christel was happy to go to her club, after a wee protest at getting off her comfy chair. The wind was awful, but she managed to get to the car with a wee struggle. She gave me a very enthusiastic description of a conversation she had with a new member. It sounded like a confabulation, but she had a good day.
I actually managed a nice long walk, with a wee bit of sunshine, round Clifton with the ramblers. There's a few nice people I've made friends with in the group, one also cares for her partner who has serious back troubles. The leader of the group looked after his dad for years, so it's very supportive and a little sad to hear of their troubles.
Of course, there will be no club for two weeks around Christmas, so will have to join the ramblers in the post walk pub gathering after lunch to keep up the contact. I'm making this up as I go along, but beginning to appreciate the group and putting together a plan to survive those couple of weeks.
IMG_20181129_121319.jpg

Thank you for reading my ramblings and I hope all is as well with you as can be.