1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

its been a year where has the time gone?

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by grobertson62, Jun 4, 2014.

  1. grobertson62

    grobertson62 Registered User

    Mar 7, 2011
    581
    Sheffield
    a year ago yesterday my dad lost his fight with dementia.
    I always thought i would be devastated when he died as we were so close
    I was upset yes.but not in bits. i miss him everyday but this hasnt reduced me to tears
    i wondered what the first anniversary would be like. Would i cry be sad angrt or what?
    Not really any of those things. We just remembered him the good times by sharing a meal of fish and chips. his favourite.
    so no tears just happy memories and the understanding that he is free his body is whole again
    Am i wrong to feel this way- my sister would say yes
    i dont agree. if its one thing i learned from this site and the great people on it. is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. no time limit and everyone is different
    so i want to take this opportunity to say thank you guys for your support over the last few years
    it has been tremendous and i am so glad i found this site
    Gill
     
  2. meme

    meme Registered User

    Aug 29, 2011
    1,955
    Female
    London
    sounds good to me.....my mother died 8 months ago and on her birthday this April I bought her favourite flowers for my front room....time moves on and they stay with us but in a different way...
     
  3. Rathbone

    Rathbone Registered User

    May 17, 2014
    2,264
    Female
    West Sussex
    Heartwarming from you both. Whatever you hold in your heart is what's right and appropriate and nobody can say there is only one way. So happy for you that you have loving memories. Thank you for sharing.X:)
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,572
    Kent
    There is nothing wrong with your feelings Gill, we all grieve in our own way and you know your heart`s in the right place.
     
  5. elizabet

    elizabet Registered User

    Mar 26, 2013
    224
    Southampton
    I feel as you start to see your loved parent decline with dementia you start to grieve for them from the first diagnosis. It is so good to focus on happy memories and be thankful for a person's life. A great help to me recently since my Mum died 5 months ago is the poem "She is gone" and although I think of Mum everyday I realise I am thankful for her life and example .
     

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