1. Gwennie

    Gwennie Registered User

    Aug 15, 2010
    49
    Cambridge
    Hello Everyone

    It's been a long time since I've been on this site, so much so, that it has completely changed!
    I joined in August 2010 and I can't believe how time flies and how things change.
    My mum is now settled in a nursing home and is doing so much better than when she left hospital at the end of May 2011 - it won't be long before we celebrate her first year in the home. When she arrived - after being in hospital for 5 months - she was unable to walk or talk and had to be fed. Now she's up on her feet - she wanders constantly. She eats non-stop (if you would let her) and she talks and mutters all the time.
    For me the stress of getting my mum into this home has paid off but I had to pack up and clear 2 homes for my mum since 2010. Firstly the house where she was settled for 7 years and then into sheltered accomodation - which didn't last long. Each time I gave away many things to neighbours, charities and friends but still I have a garage full of my mum's belongings - clothes, furntiure, bric a brac, jewellery. Alot of it is very good stuff - some of her bric a brac are antiques with some value. My problem is I just don't know where to start to get rid of the stuff - who do I contact to sell paintings, costume jewellery, china?
    I have my house up for sale and I am moving in with my partner who keeps telling me I've got to clear the garage before the house sells or I will have too much pressure on myself. The problem is, as wonderful as he is, he doesn't understand the connection I have to all these belongings - this "stuff" was my mum in the good old days, before dementia came along and robbed me off her.

    I'm trying to sort things out but I still end up with "piles" that I think, oh she use to love this i can't get rid of that, perhaps she can still wear this in the home (most of her clothes were too fancy for the home).

    It still hurts to think about my mum and the way she was before she got sick but I know i have to move on as i have done so much for her and I am just about to start a new life that I have longed for with a partner that I adore.

    So why do I still feel so guilty?

    Gwennie
     
  2. Dill

    Dill Registered User

    Feb 26, 2011
    353
    England
    Hi Gwennie
    Its good to hear your Mum is settled better. As regards her stuff, you could auction it. We did that with Dad's ornaments/model railway stuff/camera stuff etc. I just looked up the nearest auction house and rang them. They sent out a chap to look at it all, we didnt need to open too many boxes, just enough so he could get an idea. Was only there about 20 mins. We did have to take it over to the auction house in the week before the sale so they could catalogue it.
    To be honest it was easier and less painful to let it go there all at once than take it too charity shops although we did do that as well.
    We didn't get much for the stuff really, the auction house does take a cut obviously but you could use the cash to buy something nice that would remind you of your mum. Jewelary or a nice picture.
    Anyway its just a suggestion. I feel for you, its a horrible job - lots of memories, be kind to yourself.
    Dill
     
  3. Gwennie

    Gwennie Registered User

    Aug 15, 2010
    49
    Cambridge
    Hi Dill
    Thanks for that suggestion. I think I will give that a go, especially if I don't have to open all the boxes. As it's just so many odds and ends. I'm actually packing up more of her clothes today and sorting for different charity shops.
    If I could get rid of everything in one go would be much happier. And yes it would be a good idea to have a nice keepsake of my mother.

    Thanks
    Gwennie
     

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