1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Its been a while how is everyone.

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by 2197alexandra, Oct 30, 2015.

  1. 2197alexandra

    2197alexandra Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    355
    Sileby
    Just received a happy birthday email from talking point and it made me realise it's been a while since I've been in here. I had to make the decision to stop coming here so I could grieve and deal with losing dad without constantly reminding myself of the life we lived everyday.
    Well I've come a long way over the summer months and have found solace in my garden. I no longer sit staring at dad's door in the garden from my seat in the dining room. I go out and make my garden beautiful instead. It's been great for my mental health as it's gave me a purpose something to look after I suppose.
    I haven't returned to work but I'm just about to start a volunteering position at a local unit for adults with learning difficulties.
    I miss my dad terribly and don't think I've even started to grieve properly so much of this year has been taken up clearing his house which ended up taking 8 months instead of one. The house is now on the market and the vultures are awaiting there share. I don't speak to many family anymore since dad died they showed there true colours I will never forgive.
    I hope there has been some improvements in the care service for those in the world only we could ever know since I last came here but sadly I guess it's still the same old heart break for us all.
    Love to you all Alex X
     
  2. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    Hi Alex

    Nearly a year since your Dad passed away-it hardly seems possible! Well done for finding therapy in getting outside and tending your garden. After a bereavement some people stay with TP-others find it better to leave; I hope we will hear continued progress reports from you. I'm glad that you are starting to get some peace back in your life.

    Thanks for your update

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  3. Lifebuoy44

    Lifebuoy44 Registered User

    Jun 21, 2014
    18
    Male
    Sleaford, Lincs
    Missing Dad .....


    Hi Alex,

    My Dad died 7 years ago, 3 years after my Mum, and I still miss them badly. Whoever said "time heals" had little or no sense of real love. I have learned to cope by remembering all their responses to my daily living situations and imagining what they would advise me to do in each one. That way, I can still draw on their huge experience of life, and pay respect to their wisdom and love. Their absence still hurts, but their love still lives on in my heart and mind. Try to remember all their love and support they gave you in their lives, and be grateful for the guidance they gave to you. They may have passed away, but their love and wisdom still guide your life. hold fast to peace; that was their greatest gift to you. Kindest wishes, Bob
     

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