- Apr 15, 2007
My dad who is 83 was recently taken to the emergency department with chest pains, the doctors admitted him for a week ran alot of tests and found that he really needs a heart valve replacement. Dad had triple bypass and valve replacement 12 years ago and has astounded the doctors that he is still in the land of the living,with much discussion the doctors and dad decided that it wasn't a viable option so he was given medication to help the heart.While dad was in hospital mum had another decline in her dementia maybe the change in the routine or just the deterioration in it's self, anyway things are not good mum needs constant watching she is into everything becomes agitated when I have to stop her doing certain things I do let her get away with heaps but somethings can't be ignored eg removing rubbish bags from bin opening them and throwing contents over the back fence. Somedays it seems endless the things she does and I know I am running on empty, since dad has been home he hasn't any patiences with mum( not that he really ever has been a patient person) and I understand that it is very hard to cope with dementia care when your not well, clearly dad isn't up to the challenge anymore.Clearly and calmly dad said he was very depressed and felt that if I placed mum into care things would be much better for him that mum was driving him mad and when he was in hospital he realised how peaceful things were and he wants that peace. I spend most of my time at mum and dads place I do have my own home and family which has been negelected owing to this situation, but worry about how dad will go living on his own after 59 years with mum, he assures me he will be fine and he will be assessed for his needs.I do understand how dad feels but not the coldness to it all. My hubby things he wants things in place in case his heart gives out and maybe he needs sometime alone to unwind from all this turmoil. As far as mum goes I have looked at places and placed her name down at one home. Mums doctor said it's time, you knew it would come and now it is here( he was really lovelly about it all) so that's my tail of woe heavens knows where I will get the courage from to actually take mum and leave her there, dad isn't even interersted in viewing places just asks how long it is going to take(how long is a bit of string) mum has been placed on high prioriy. Thanks for listening. Taffy.