Its a struggle

[stockport1965]

This is the 1st time I have had to come to this section of the forums. Until now I have been only visiting the I care for a person with Dementia part of the site.

Mum was admitted to hospital after a bad fall last week. After an op, things have really gone downhill. Not so much with memory but with eating and drinking. She was on a drip, taken off it but now back on it. There is a chance she will also have a blood transfusion.
She weighs 5st 13lb and looks so thin. She eats a couple of spoons of food and that is enough. To me it appears she is having trouble swallowing. An assessment is being done today.
Although we haven't been told so, I really think we are beginning the end of life care now. I have tried to prepare Dad for this but as you can appreciate at 90, he doesn't want to accept it. I have sisters that live very close but I am 140 miles away and feel a bit isolated and scared!
Anyway, that's my story, so I am sure I will be posting a lot!

 

[Grannie G]

I am 140 miles away and feel a bit isolated and scared!

It will make it even harder for you @stockport1965 when you have to rely on your dad and your sisters for updates.

There must be a reason why your mother was put back on the drip. When my husband was nearing the end of his life all medication was stopped and he was taken off the drip.

By then he was no longer accepting any food or fluids so if your mother is still accepting even a couple of spoonsful perhaps her time is not yet here.

It remains to be seen how the assessment goes today.

 

[stockport1965]

It will make it even harder for you @stockport1965 when you have to rely on your dad and your sisters for updates.

There must be a reason why your mother was put back on the drip. When my husband was nearing the end of his life all medication was stopped and he was taken off the drip.

By then he was no longer accepting any food or fluids so if your mother is still accepting even a couple of spoonsful perhaps her time is not yet here.

It remains to be seen how the assessment goes today.

I think they are putting her back on the drip as she is drinking very little. She cannot do this herself, so unless family are there, she has nothing.

 

[Grannie G]

I think if it was felt she really is at the end of her life she might be taken off the drip so perhaps she is not ready yet.

 

[Bunpoots]

I agree with @Grannie G

It sounds as though they are still actively looking to improve your mum.

I remember going through this with my mum after she had a fall and broken hip.
We thought we were going to lose her she was very thin and eating and drinking very little. She pulled through. Very difficult times though .

Is there any system for ensuring people who can't feed themselves get food and drink? Our local hospital has a red plate for those patients so it's obvious who needs help.

 

[stockport1965]

She is in a bay near nurses station as she has a falls risk. They do help feed at lunch & drink at lunch. Out if meal times, not so

 

[Jintyf]

Just want to send a huge hug to you. The fact they are still keeping your mum hydrated is a good thing...there's hope and I'm constantly amazed how often people who appear to be near the end do rally. Savour each precious day.

 

[canary]

I was told 3 times that mum was at End of Life because she had stopped eating and drinking, but each time she rallied.
Eventually, of course, she stopped eating and drinking, but didnt rally.......

I think at the moment you will have to wait and see which way it goes, but we will be here for you, holding your virtual hand.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

 

[stockport1965]

Thanks

 

[stockport1965]

Just popping my head back in to update. Mum is still surviving on a small individual tub of ice cream a day and half a dish of ready brek. She is very tired and that makes the dementia so much worse. It seems as though the hospital really aren't doing much. While the hip operation was a success, she is just too weak to stand or do exercises. Do you think we should now ask for her to be moved to a nursing home?