It's a guessing game most of the time.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by gmama, Mar 25, 2015.

  1. gmama

    gmama Registered User

    Nov 25, 2014
    11
    South Lanarkshire
    It's 2-25 am and MIL has finally come to bed. I had posted full moon syndrome before as we were hoping that was what was causing MIL to be getting worked up in the evening. I no longer think that. What are you supposed to do when you can't get them to calm down. MIL was trying to get out of the house after midnight tonight, we have been having outbursts most evenings for a while now and usually we can calm her down by just talking but not tonight. We ended up calling social work who told us to call NHS 24 all the while MIL was shouting in the back ground. She wanted to go home and we were liars and she didn't want to be here. It's very frustrating as I know in the morning she will be all happy and rested and everything is great. So why is she being quite horrible at night, she went to bed four times tonight. By the time the doctor came out she had gone to bed and was sleeping soundly. We have a very calm house I've done the spraying of lavender and don't know what else to do or try. I am to call the CPN tomorrow and the doctor but just don't know what good they will do. We didn't know who to call first, who would be in the best position to give us advice or help us tonight.
     
  2. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,967
    Brixham Devon
    Morning Gmama-I hope you are sleeping now! If I was in your position I would phone the CPN first -she may be able to get some advice from a Dementia Doctor. I know it's not a terribly popular option but your MIL may need some meds to help her sleep; some are prescribed as use when needed. Sleep deprivation will help no one; sufferer or carer.

    I hope you have a better day/night today

    Take care

    Lyn T XX
     
  3. opaline

    opaline Registered User

    Nov 13, 2014
    182
    I agree, definitely time for sleeping tablets otherwise there will be a murder, lol, x
     
  4. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,237
    Female
    England
    Five years ago we were in the same place as you. It reached the point where we had to telephone the police, three times. It was he police that got us the help we needed.

    Now five years on I worry about the time my husband now spends asleep. He is allowed out of bed for two hours a day and will promptly fall asleep when in his chair. We use the time out of the bed to give him his meals whilst he is fairly alert. We worry when they don't sleep and are anxious, worry when they do sleep and are unresponsive. We are never going to win when living with dementia.
     
  5. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    All the night time anxiety and confusion is still so fresh in my house, after what seems like months of dealing with up and down dressed and demanding to go home, terrible anxiety and confusion, it was BAD. I turned to the gp, please, please give my mum something to help her sleep or at least ease her anxiety. Lorazapam was prescribed and it helped. Christmas Eve and it all started again. About a week ago all mum's meds were changed and things are much calmer.

    I used to spray Lavender and then moved on to spraying a little of her favourite perfume on pillow. Last night she was up and pottering in her bedroom for most of the night, but nothing like it used to be so I left her to it.

    For me, I have come to the conclusion that this calm time is the sad result of the Dementia moving forward/plateaux and some much better medication.
     
  6. gmama

    gmama Registered User

    Nov 25, 2014
    11
    South Lanarkshire
    The doctor came out this afternoon and did a cheek up and urine sample, and a clean bill of health. The doctor is now asking the CPN to come out within the next 2 days. We had a CPN but After a while they signed us off but if ever we needed advice we can call them and like now the doctor has to ask them to come to us before they can. I did phone them this morning and I came off the phone feeling it had been a waste of time as they had to be referred by the doctor. The doctor in the mean time has given MIL lorazepam and I have just given her one so fingers crossed we get a peaceful night. Thank you all for your advice and kind words, it really does help speaking with other carers.. xx
     
  7. Perdita

    Perdita Registered User

    Jun 22, 2009
    219
    Suffolk, Uk
    Hope you have a good night's sleep tonight gmama - I have about one night a week at present where mum is awake all night and it knocks me for six for a day or two.

    Maybe we should start a night shift thread :)
     

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