1. stockport1965

    stockport1965 Registered User

    Sep 27, 2016
    132
    stockport
    Mum passed away on may 25th. I stupidly thought that although my sisters live local, and I live 120 mile away, I would deal with it so much easier. How wrong was I???
    I am taking it out on my husband. I am depressed, I am drinking and I am afraid to be alone. I hate waking up in the morning and then realising Mum has died.
    Are these normal in the grieving process??
     
  2. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,452
    Hi @stockport1965 Not there yet but I would imagine that almost anything is normal in the grieving process.

    You need to be kinder to yourself and cut yourself some slack (whatever that means)

    I don't think any of us can be prepared for this but it was not your fault, it just happens. I am sure that you did your best for your mum but she is gone now and you need to think of you and your future as that is what is important now.
     
  3. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    2,669
    Nottinghamshire
    It's normal @stockport1965

    My dad died just before Christmas and I still have days like that. It's getting better though..
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,564
    Yorkshire
    hi @stockport1965
    yes, your feelings are your feelings and we each grieve in our own way
    when my mum died, a few years ago, I put some photos in frames and placed them where they would catch my eye in different rooms ... they were pictures of her smiling, one waving into the camera, so I just had to smile and wave back ... it helped me to begin to think of all the good times and be glad she had been in my life .. of course there were tears too, though with smiles and warm memories rather than negative ... I also had a cardigan of hers that I put on to have a hug from her
    I am a bit concerned for you, maybe go have a chat with your GP
    or consider contacting CRUSE
    https://www.cruse.org.uk/
     
  5. Ray96

    Ray96 Registered User

    Sep 29, 2018
    75
    Mum passed two weeks ago today and am feeling exactly the same. Sometimes can't sleep, can't get up in the mornings, nothing to look forward too, no more Christmas's, Birthdays, Mother's days...And i have been drinking but trying to keep busy sorting everything out, luckily I have had lots of support from friends.
    It will take a while, the morning process is never going to be easy, in fact there would be something wrong if you didn't have these feelings.
     
  6. stockport1965

    stockport1965 Registered User

    Sep 27, 2016
    132
    stockport
    Sorry for your loss Ray,
    I've had a better day today, have made the decision not to drink in the week. It doesn't help and makes me feel worse.
    I have been out walking as well, that has really helped
     
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,564
    Yorkshire
    good for you @stockport1965
    it takes time to find new routines and ways to carry on, you will though
    keep posting here if it helps
     
  8. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    1,946
    Female
    East Midlands
    Everyone grieves in different ways. It is now almost 3 months that my mum passed away & I just got a bit emotional now.
    I have been so busy dealing with everything afterwards such as sorting out her bungalow to sell plus running my own business that I have very little time to look after me but that is what I need to do!
    If you are concerned about your feelings & drinking more & feeling depressed then please go & speak to your dr. You might need a short course of anti depressants to perk you up & there is no shame in that whatsoever.

    When my ex husband & I split up, I was at rock bottom & needed meds & took them for 6 mths & never looked back.
     
  9. Ray96

    Ray96 Registered User

    Sep 29, 2018
    75
    Yes drinking can certainly make you feel worse, I'm glad you had a better day,
    there are going to be better days now but also some not so good one's, particularly if you let to many old memories preoccupy your mind. I have been through almost the whole life of my mum in the last two weeks, things keep popping into my head from years ago.
     

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