Hi Christine,
I agree with everyone else - you must do things only when you feel the time is right.
It took me 4 years to begin to consider disposing of anything of Jan's from the house. Even then, only her least treasured things went, slowly, one by one.
Until that point, Jan could have walked back in [if only
] and picked up right from the point she last walked out.
Now, over 6 years afterwards, including a house move, I still keep some of her clothes - wedding dress, etc. They represent memories, and a link to a happier past for her.
When I took her Kurt Geiger shoes to the charity shop when I moved home last year, I first photographed them, and they remain on file in that form, as a link between us.
I changed the car today and felt bad about that.
Crazy, because Jan has never seen or been in the car.
However, it was the same model as the previous car that I had owned, and that I chose so she would be comfortable when we drove around.
So there was a link through the car.
It seemed that, in replacing the car, I was in some way, abandoning another link between us. But the one I replaced was becoming unreliable and I need a reliable car to continue visiting Jan. I may abandon the car, but never Jan.
These links we maintain when a loved one moves to a care home, or passes on, are important and are crucial to our grieving process at the changes life bestows on us.
Many social workers appear to do their jobs as if reading a script yet not understanding the words. That is a great shame.
Best wishes