It all ended and I'm numb

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by andypandy, Dec 10, 2015.

  1. andypandy

    andypandy Registered User

    Jun 28, 2015
    32
    Well mum passed away, and to say I'm devastated is an under statement. But I feel so numb at the moment. I cry but not as much as I thought I would yet, I don't know if it's because the last year of mums life for so full on looking after her. I'm pleased to say though that we still had brief windows where she knew who we were but the end was not what her or us wanted.

    We are so busy at the moment with arrangements and work and 'life' I'm scared what will happen when the roller coaster docks. Mum was our lives for such a long time, what do I do now? ? I'm finding it incredibly hard to deal with anyone else's feelings , is this odd and selfish??

    I want to thank everyone that's ever posted a response to any of my posts, this site bought me comfort and advice when I needed it. Sadly though it's all over.

    Mum - I love you always have always will xx
     
  2. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,041
    Andypandy am so sorry for your loss.

    One day at a time, it is enough to deal with your own feelings sometimes, neither odd nor selfish.

    Look after yourself In the days ahead. Keep posting if it helps
    love
    Sue
     
  3. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    i am so sorry for your loss, and wish you comfort as you grieve, and strength to get through the days and weeks ahead.
     
  4. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,005
    Yorkshire
    My condolences andypandy - I'm so glad you had some time when your mum knew you

    Your feelings are not odd at all - you have been so caught up in caring that 'you' took a back seat - now you are discovering your own feelings again; allow yourself to feel whatever does or doesn't come to you - and others will survive while you care for yourself

    I'm pleased TP has been a comfort to you (it certainly is to me) - come here anytime you want a listening ear
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    Oh, Andy, I'm so sorry. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

    No pressure and no obligation, but TP is always here, if and when you feel up to it.

    Please look after yourself.

    All the best,

    amy
     
  6. CeliaThePoet

    CeliaThePoet Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    614
    Buffalo, NY, USA
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I think as carers we get into a state of calm which is very close to numb. Be as you are, everything's okay. Be at peace.
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,571
    Female
    Dundee
    Sending my condolences and wishing you strength.
     
  8. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,203
    Merseyside
    I'm so sorry andypandy.
     
  9. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    473
    manchester
    I'm so sorry your Mum is no longer with you, please accept my condolences. It's nine months today since I lost my Mum and I miss her loads. At the time it all felt so surreal and numbing. I wish you strength and love, Rose
     
  10. angecmc

    angecmc Registered User

    Dec 25, 2012
    2,109
    hertfordshire
    So sorry for your loss x

    Ange
     
  11. looviloo

    looviloo Registered User

    May 3, 2015
    464
    Female
    Cheshire
    So sorry to hear this. Take time for yourself, one day at a time x
     
  12. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    I am so sorry and will be thinking of you in the coming days. Do come back to TP if you want to and when you are ready xx
     
  13. beverrino

    beverrino Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    1,111
    so sorry to hear your very sad news Andy. I wish you strength and hugs in your times of need. Take care x
     
  14. disi

    disi Registered User

    I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss Andy and hope you will in time get comfort that she is now at peace. xx
     
  15. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,516
    Ireland
    So sorry to hear of your loss. We are all here, if you need a place to unburden.
     
  16. Kenhy

    Kenhy Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    15
    Sorry to hear about your loss Andy, thoughts go out to you and your family. Stay strong and think of the good times.
     

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