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Issues with controlling brother

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,486
0
So sorry things are so stressful for you @Caracaskid, and confusing for your father. Is there any way the GP or social worker could talk to your brother and explain clearly why they've come to the conclusion they have about your dad, and that he is better off where he is?
If your dad is settled in the home it seems a shame to have to move him due to your brother's behaviour, so I hope something is sorted soon,
 
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Caracaskid

Registered User
Jan 5, 2021
14
0
We have already had a 1.5 hour Best interests discussion with social worker, care staff and family. Brother refused to accept anything and/or their knowledge/ experience. He knows best. Decision made by POAs for dad to stay in care home. Despite that brother still demanding he takes him home - hence he has now been banned. Police will be called if he turns up at the home. Oh the joys!
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,217
0
What an awful situation @Caracaskid . I wonder if your brother has mental issues of his own, which doesn't help you at all but might go a little way to explain his extreme behaviour. It sounds as though he needs some medication to calm him down. I don't suppose he would even consider seeing a doctor if anyone suggested they were worried about him? I can almost hear your hollow laughter....
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,217
0
I see that @Weasell raised the possibility earlier of him perhaps having dementia himself. I was thinking more of extreme anxiety.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
656
0
So long as the difficult brother doesn't have powers of attorney I don't see anything preventing you from moving your dad to an undisclosed other home. Of course the downside might be that the move would be upsetting for him. Consider whether you can keep the new place secret.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,273
0
Victoria, Australia
Saw my dad today and he is shell shocked - doesn’t know who to trust. A 96 year old should not be bullied in this manner - so upsetting to see! I want to string someone up by his you know whats!
I don't know what they are called in the UK but could you get an injunction against him? We call them Aggressive Behaviour Orders and they include things like threatening and abusive emails, haassment, stalking, all sorts of things as well as violence.

I understand that it will cause friction in the family but you have that anyway. This is just a horrible situation for you all..
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
656
0
There are legal remedies under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, both criminal and civil. So there could be a case for the police to get involved but from what we know in this thread I don't know if the brother' s conduct amounts to harassment, that would be for a court to judge. You can apply for an injunction under this Act. You will need to be able to demonstrate that the conduct amounts to harassment, and as the brother isn't threatening violence as I understand it, and is harrassing the staff as much as anyone, you might find the case difficult to make, it depends on the details that we don't have here.

An added complication is that your dad can't take legal action because he doesn't ( presumably) have capacity to do that, so someone else would have to be appointed as a "litigation friend" by a court to do do on his behalf.

This isn't going to be simple and you probably need a solicitor to help.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,621
0
Essex
What an awful situation @Caracaskid . I wonder if your brother has mental issues of his own, which doesn't help you at all but might go a little way to explain his extreme behaviour. It sounds as though he needs some medication to calm him down. I don't suppose he would even consider seeing a doctor if anyone suggested they were worried about him? I can almost hear your hollow laughter....
I was starting to think that as well.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,621
0
Essex
Dear @Caracaskid ,

Following what @MartinWL has just said if you involve solicitors remember that the care home would have been keeping a record of your dad and possibly what happened during your brother's visits.

Good luck

MaNaAk
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
2,486
0
@Caracaskid , I'm sorry that even a group of professionals telling your brother that his father was in the best place wasn't enough. I hope the home manage to keep your dad away from seeing your brother if he does turn up.
 

Caracaskid

Registered User
Jan 5, 2021
14
0
There are legal remedies under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, both criminal and civil. So there could be a case for the police to get involved but from what we know in this thread I don't know if the brother' s conduct amounts to harassment, that would be for a court to judge. You can apply for an injunction under this Act. You will need to be able to demonstrate that the conduct amounts to harassment, and as the brother isn't threatening violence as I understand it, and is harrassing the staff as much as anyone, you might find the case difficult to make, it depends on the details that we don't have here.

An added complication is that your dad can't take legal action because he doesn't ( presumably) have capacity to do that, so someone else would have to be appointed as a "litigation friend" by a court to do do on his behalf.

This isn't going to be simple and you probably need a solicitor to help.
Thank you - very helpful x