1. valleygirl

    valleygirl Registered User

    Apr 7, 2015
    9
    I fear my husband has vascular dementia and he is having a ct brain scan on the 28th April 2015. TBH I will be more surprised if it comes back normal. A diagnosis will be an answer to his odd behaviour and aggressive outbursts. I feel guilty saying this as it's like wanting him to have dementia but the last few months have been difficult. There is an age gap between us and we have a 15 year old autistic son. I think he has been ill for a few years but I put it down to stress and the "incidents" were not so frequent. It does not help he wont visit the DR either. I sent a letter to the DR and he saw him when he was getting his routine bloods done. However now he becomes aggressive if we do not agree with him, starts shouting or will slam doors, barges purposely into my son or me (he is 6 foot and 17 stone) but then can be contrasting and act silly, he has become obsessive about horse racing basically on internet and watches it on TV all day god help if we want to watch anything as he will get verbally aggressive and say he never watches the TV and I really think he believes this, he seems to only be able to have a conversation about the past when he was in the RAF, he has no interest in going anywhere and would happily sit all day in his dressing gown and now recently he has put my frozen food shopping away in the fridge and made me grilled clotted cream on toast. He forgets things and will leave cooker on but knows who we are. I think vascular dementia because he has high blood pressure, sleep apnoea and type 2 diabetes. Does this sound like dementia or depression? Do the ct scans show the type of dementia? Sorry for the long post. Being young I have no experience of dementia and friends my own age just cannot relate to it. I'm 36. What help is offered if he was diagnosed, I'm in S Wales.
     
  2. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    Hi Valley girl, I am sorry to read about your husband. It is good that he is having a CT scan, and I hope it will be able to throw some light on to what is causing your husband's behaviour.

    Dementia, as you no doubt know takes many forms (if it is dementia), but his behaviours sound very hard to cope with. He is probably afraid, realising that things are not right, but not knowing why, or how to change.

    My advice would be not get into any argument with him, that will only wind him up. That is hard, I know, but in the end it will make your life a little easier. Try to remember that these symptoms are not his fault, he's not being difficult on purpose.

    Please keep posting. I hope all goes well on 28th and then at least you will know what you are dealing with.

    Jan x
     
  3. valleygirl

    valleygirl Registered User

    Apr 7, 2015
    9
    Thanks for your reply Jan. That is what we are doing at the moment if he wants to just sit all day long watching TV/ on internet we just leave him I don't even press him to get washed and dressed, at least we get a quieter life. Was at such a low point yesterday evening because my sister had suffered a miscarriage and it went right over his head and he went on about a small cut on his leg. Telling my myself it's the illness is all that gets me through the day.
     
  4. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    Hi there. I'm sorry to hear about your sister, very sad.

    Your dad probably didn't understand the significance of the event, and was only concerned with himself. Sadly another symptom.

    After the scan, hopeful you will more information and get some support as to the best way forward.

    Jan
     
  5. quish16

    quish16 Registered User

    Jul 21, 2013
    12
    Just to wish you all the best with the scan. I am 53 and my husband is 76 and I can relate to the aggression, and watching TV all day. Also the decline in personal grooming. I am just keeping a note of his behaviour at the moment, because it is difficult to discuss at the doctors because although I go with him, he is always present. I would keep a record of his outbursts and then at least you can discuss it with someone once you get the scan results.
     
  6. valleygirl

    valleygirl Registered User

    Apr 7, 2015
    9
    Hi, sorry to hear about your husband. Just to say in the end I wrote a letter to his GP my husband won't go to the DR. I count myself lucky in that his GP made some excuse when he had routine bloods done to see him and has referred him for this CT scan. Honestly the 28th cannot come quick enough. Maybe you could try writing to his GP. I had to he started getting verbally aggressive, mugs would go flying, drink poured on my dinner, doors slammed but then it got worse and my son was barged and pushed. I really hope you get help you have to look after yourself too and of course get your husband help.
     
  7. oldest daughter

    oldest daughter Registered User

    Apr 10, 2015
    1
    Late in life dementia

    My dad will be 97 next week. He had shown signs of forgetfulness for the past year but enjoyed life and participating in activities. He fell in January but didn't break any bones. His home life situation changed (not related to the fall but for personal reasons.) and we had to move him to an assisted living community. We recognized this would be difficult for him but have been shocked by the changes in his personality. He has fits of anger, confusion and a lack of interest in life. My question is can dementia come on over a period of a few months? I understand that a life change of this magnitude at his age can cause some confusion but he has days when he is extremely agitated and barely knows where he is. He was happy with the community when he moved there but now he is unsettled and angry. I believe he needs medication to help him relax and something to help him with his memory - are there meds that could help him?
     

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