Is this the wrong care home for mum?

[livia123]

Hi

I don't know if me and my brother are being un realistic with our expectations of the care home. Mum entered 3 months ago after the unexpected death of our father. I live in London ( they are in NI) and unfortunately, the home went into lockdown after a staff outbreak on 10th August. This was during our summer holiday visit so didn't see my mum for the rest of my two weeks there.
The home has been in lockdown since with a steady stream of staff and patient tests - including my mum 3 weeks ago. Just gutted to get the news that they have had another positive test at the weekend so they won't be opening up on Tuesday and the whole cycle starts again. This means I've had to cancel my flights over to NI on 7th Oct. At this stage it appears the earliest I have a chance of seeing mum is at Christmas.

I know it may just be back luck but this has been going on for 2 months now. We are aware that they are short staffed as they have had to share staff with other units in the home which has probably added to the cross infection across the home. But even on smaller issues they have been disappointing. They have banned the "WhatsApp" phone which means I can't do a video call with mum who is so much easier to speak to when she can see my face. They had to be pushed to offer my brother "essential care giver status" so at least he has been able to go in for the last week and mum has literally not even been able to have an escorted walk around the garden.
I think the final straw was that she has dropped 12 lbs to 6 st 6lbs in a month due to a combination of illness and refusing to eat. She's really picky but the home are continuing to serve her gravy and diary products when we have told them that she wont' eat either.

Are we being unrealistic? Is there any way of finding out how other local homes have been faring - as we are thinking of making enquiries to move her?

Thanks

 

[Pacucho]

Hello,

I have just read your post, and have to say I would be very concerned about the home from what you have written.
I know the system in Northern Ireland is different to England, and I would recommend you contact the Society's Dementia Connect support line for further advice (0333 150 3456).
Hope this helps,

Paco

 

[lemonbalm]

Hello @livia

This link might be useful if you decide to search for alternative care homes. It might be worth calling a few to discuss your concerns and how they would address them.

https://www.carehome.co.uk/care_search_results.cfm/searchcountry/Northern-Ireland

 

[HardToLetGo]

Hi

I don't know if me and my brother are being un realistic with our expectations of the care home. Mum entered 3 months ago after the unexpected death of our father. I live in London ( they are in NI) and unfortunately, the home went into lockdown after a staff outbreak on 10th August. This was during our summer holiday visit so didn't see my mum for the rest of my two weeks there.
The home has been in lockdown since with a steady stream of staff and patient tests - including my mum 3 weeks ago. Just gutted to get the news that they have had another positive test at the weekend so they won't be opening up on Tuesday and the whole cycle starts again. This means I've had to cancel my flights over to NI on 7th Oct. At this stage it appears the earliest I have a chance of seeing mum is at Christmas.

I know it may just be back luck but this has been going on for 2 months now. We are aware that they are short staffed as they have had to share staff with other units in the home which has probably added to the cross infection across the home. But even on smaller issues they have been disappointing. They have banned the "WhatsApp" phone which means I can't do a video call with mum who is so much easier to speak to when she can see my face. They had to be pushed to offer my brother "essential care giver status" so at least he has been able to go in for the last week and mum has literally not even been able to have an escorted walk around the garden.
I think the final straw was that she has dropped 12 lbs to 6 st 6lbs in a month due to a combination of illness and refusing to eat. She's really picky but the home are continuing to serve her gravy and diary products when we have told them that she wont' eat either.

Are we being unrealistic? Is there any way of finding out how other local homes have been faring - as we are thinking of making enquiries to move her?

Thanks

Hi feel for you trying to get an accurate picture of what is going on long distance is difficult. I would request a virtual meeting with the manager asap to discuss your concerns first instance and if remaining concerned refer to NI equivalent of CQC, not respecting your Mum's dietary preferences is not acceptable. Let us know how things go, take care.

 

[livia123]

Thanks for all your comments and recommendations. I'm hoping to speak to the manager tomorrow to at least see if there is a way I can guarantee seeing mum if I fly over in early Nov ( I'm happy to do a PCR test before I come over). And we are looking at another group of homes in the area to find out how they are managing with the recent upsurge in local cases.