1. loosecoverqueen

    loosecoverqueen Registered User

    Apr 12, 2015
    #1 loosecoverqueen, Apr 12, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2015
    Hi all,
    My husband of almost 40 years has always been absent minded and clumsy as a result. He has always had a phenomenal intellect and is a true lateral thinker. He is a gifted engineer. Recently he spills, drops, loses thing constantly and is becoming angrier and angrier about it. His frustration threshold is less and less. He started to "go downhill" after retiring early at 57 but it has become noticeably more of a problem since his hernia op 2 years ago. Most days are good but some days he cannot remember anything from one minute to the next. He has always been a hoarder but he is now totally unable to organise his possessions and our house is becoming unmanageable. I still work but will retire in 2016. I am not as tolerant and understanding as maybe I should be but it's hard seeing the man I have always loved and looked up to become randomly incompetant. Is this the start of dementia or should we be looking at another cause for his behaviour? Maybe depression or boredom? He is 61 and there is no history of dementia in his family. They are very long-lived - generally into their 90s.
  2. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    Gradual change.

    Hi ,A visit to your doctor is the first step and take it from there.A simple check and blood test will determine ,what next .Good luck,I wasn't as tolerant either in the early stages but it's better to find out.x
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hello and welcome loosecoverqueen.
    I'm not aware of the "A simple check and blood test will determine ,what next " are but if there is such a thing we'd all be happier.
    I could suggest that since he no longer has the challenge of younger workers, the dynamic of the workplace maybe, stupid as it sounds he could get some benefit from some of the TV quiz shows, not the daft ones but some are quite good for making you think.
  4. Caz60

    Caz60 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2014
    What next

    Maybe I was misunderstood,I didn't mean a check for Dementia I meant if her Husband has a check and eliminates other than following the Dementia route .Thats what we did in the beginning unfortunately for us it was LBD.I know there is no blood test for Dementia but what next would be the outcome of a visit.x
  5. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    Hello loosecoverqueen like your name! Welcome to taking point, you need to go to your Dr tell him about your hubby, tell him about your concerns, he will call him in for a check up, then go from there, that what happened to my hubby but it took him a year before he would go. Good luck
  6. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    Brixham Devon
    I sent a letter to my OH's GP with a few 'incidents' to enable him to get the picture of what was going on. I followed that up with an appointment on my own. The GP couldn't discuss Pete's health directly but he listened a bit!

    Take care

    Lyn T
  7. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    East Kent
    #7 lin1, Apr 12, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2015
    I agree in having a blood test first.
    Their are quite a few things that if out of kilter can cause similar symptoms to Dementia. Just an example, B12, thyroid problems , Folic acid ......

    Depression can cause similar symptoms too.
    So it would be a good idea to get your Husband to the GP, I advise going with him if you can.

    I managed to persuade Dad to tell his GP about his memory and being clumsy it took a long while though.
    The GP started to do the MMSE and gave up after the first question Dad got it very wrong three time and became so confused.
    I asked for a blood test to check for things that could cause memory problems.
    We soon found out that Dad was very low in Folic Acid , phew .
    He had an eight week course of treatment and quite soon I noticed an improvement.

    I do hope it's something easily treated . Please let us know how you get on.
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    I went to see our GP with a dated list of incidents and behaviours which concerned me.

    Because my husband was diabetic, the GP used this as an excuse to call him in for a check up. Perhaps your GP can find a reason to call your husband in too.
  9. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    #9 Chuggalug, Apr 12, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2015
    Hello Loosecoverqueen.

    You're having a bit of a time of it, aintcha. Just to hopefully help you a bit, I can often be very clumsy, and when it happens, I have absolutely no patience with it. I'm perfectly well in all other aspects.

    Hoarding things can become a problem, but it's one you two can work on together, if approached with patience. With you being at work, obviously, you don't have as much time to spend as others might. Sounds like your own work load is getting you stressed. I'm not at all surprised.

    It could be depression with your hubby. Is he able to reason properly, and can you both have a proper conversation? Does he properly understand what you say to him? That's where to begin, knowing whether his reasoning skills are still intact.

    As for the clumsiness, and dropping things/spilling things - my hubby was always like that! He was very absent-minded before he got dementia. However, his hands are now very arthritic. Perhaps your hubby could begin with getting a test, if there is one, for arthritis? With my hubby, he was always a dreadful perfectionist. He worked very quickly at things and didn't always pay attention to what he was doing when he came indoors, which led to the spilling/dropping things, initially.
  10. christmas

    christmas Registered User

    Apr 27, 2014
    Hi my husband was just like your husband always worked hard then he had to give up work do to bad health is back was so bad he couldn't do it anymore ,after two years of being at home he started to forget things and kept asking the same things all the time I just knew there must be something wrong so I took him to the doctor that was where I was told he had Alzheimer's .take him to see is doctor if he has Alzheimer's they will be able to help him it may no t be but it's best to know, he could be just bored at least you will know love Christmas xxx
  11. mabbs

    mabbs Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    hello and welcome from me too.
    I was in similar circumstances, I went to GP, he had a letter sent to hubby inviting him to a well man check up, covered all sorts, blood sugar cholesterol etc, and a memory test, very basic but the first step, and everything went on from there. So hubby was completely unaware of fears of dementia, it also meant that other things were checked as well.

    So like others I would say thats your best, first step, diagnosis if it is dementia is better sooner than later. Best of luck :) mabbs
  12. loosecoverqueen

    loosecoverqueen Registered User

    Apr 12, 2015
    Thankyou everyone

    Thankyou everyone for your advice and support. Whether I can get him to our GP or get our GP to call him in is a different matter! But I no longer feel as if I am being over-dramatic. I will try the vitamin supplement route with him first (folic acid etc) and take it from there.
    Once again thankyou all for reading my post and responding.
  13. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    East Kent
    #13 lin1, Apr 17, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2015
    It took me a long time to persuade my dad to see the GP. I was just on the point of writing a letter to his GP about his symptoms , when unknowingly dad provided me with another opportunity .

    It was something like him saying, I don't know what's wrong with me.
    Well I wasn't going to miss a golden opportunity was I .
    I replied it could be your lacking something ,why not talk
    to the GP .
    To my utter supprise I didn't get the usual, their is nothing wrong with me, it's , you you confuse me , nothing wrong with my memory it's yours that needs checking etc etc

    What I am trying to say is yes you may have difficulties getting your husband to the GP, hopefully you won't but if you do , gently gently may work better rather than keep pushing and a letter or chat with his GP .

    Do let us know how you get on.

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