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Is this the final stage?

Caligirl

Registered User
Dec 19, 2018
62
0
My Dad is 91 he got diagnosed with vascular dementia 2.5 years ago but he probably had it longer as was diagnosed with Cognitive impairment 7.5 years ago.
He lives alone and has carers go in 3 times a day and tbh has been doing ok until the last 3 weeks. He could still make a cuppa, get dressed etc now he has taken to his bed barely eating and doesnt get up even to go to the bathroom. He is hardly awake, should we prepare ourselves as the carer said he has seen this lots before. We are getting his care plan assessed and just want him to be as comfortable as possible. Anyone else in this situation and how long can we expect him to last (I know a stupid question). I just want him to go without any suffering, I am heartbroken.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
12,212
0
Merseyside
It’s so hard to watch this stage. Personally, I’d get the GP out to look at him in case plans need to be up in place.
I wish you strength to cope with this stage @Caligirl
 

Caligirl

Registered User
Dec 19, 2018
62
0
It’s so hard to watch this stage. Personally, I’d get the GP out to look at him in case plans need to be up in place.
I wish you strength to cope with this stage @Caligirl
The carer is arranging for him to be assessed and told us he will get back to us. I live 2.5 hours away but my Sister and Niece are locally. He does have a Care Plan already which I guess is something. I sat crying my eyes out this morning when I got the call as felt so helpless. Going to see him at the weekend. Do you think we should call the Dr too or leave it to the Assessment Team I have no idea what is right or wrong but do know we want him to stay at home.
 

Caligirl

Registered User
Dec 19, 2018
62
0
The GP is coming tomorrow I spoke with her earlier hopefully we will know more then. I have cried so many tears today😪😪
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
9,317
0
leicester
I’m glad you have the GP involved but I’m sorry to read how difficult things have become wishing you strength for the coming days
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,240
0
I just wanted to say your care team etc sound amazing ! I hope they are able to support your Dad . Tbh I’m a tad jealous , but pleased that the system works for some . Just wish we were part of that system
Hugs .
 

Caligirl

Registered User
Dec 19, 2018
62
0
I just wanted to say your care team etc sound amazing ! I hope they are able to support your Dad . Tbh I’m a tad jealous , but pleased that the system works for some . Just wish we were part of that system
Hugs .
Well the day I typed the post my Dad fell in the night and fractured his hip, hence late replies. My Dad banged on the neighbours wall for help they called the police. The police then proceeded to smash the door in even though my Dad has a keysafe and they have the number. Since had a bill for over £210 for a company they called out to make the property safe! The irony of it all is they the Police drove off and left all the upstairs large windows wide open! What is the point of a keysafe if they do not use.
My Dad was operated on and was doing well then developed low bp and an infection and kidneys were not happy. They finally stood him yesterday after a week but he is now hugely confused (no delirium after op), no strength and can hardly walk they are saying he may not get home again but we do not want him in a care home. I understand as he is self funded we are still entitled to 6 weeks care at home free. I may take them on with regards to a CHC, he is deaf, one eye clouded over needs investigating, immobile, with vascular dementia. Before the op and prior to his above sleepy spell, which we now believe may have been an infection, he was climbing the stairs, making a cuppa, getting himself dressed with 3 care calls a day. I am heartbroken and just wondered what others experiences were after a hip fracture op.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,726
0
@Caligirl my mum had a hip replacement due to a fall and they made her get up the next day and walk. It was a long time ago and she was a lot younger than your dad and things may be different now but they made her do it and she recovered well. My dad had pneumonia with delirium and was in a hospital bed for three weeks, his legs were very weak and he was unable to stand on his own. OT were useless and he ended up with a fall on the rehabilitation ward which landed him back in A&E and then to the stroke ward.

In the end we had to get him out before he had what would have been his fourth hospital induced fall and probably his last. Once home I made him stand and sit over and over again while holding his walking frame until he improved. Then one step, two steps and so on until he was able to walk. It took two of us to get him in the bathroom but within a couple of weeks he was able to take himself using his frame (with me walking next to him) It was hard but we got there so your dad may improve although his other ailments may complicate things.

I got dad home because that was what he wanted but I had to move in 24/7 and in hindsight a care home may have been a better option because dad would have had a team of people looking after him instead of poor old frazzled me and I think he would have enjoyed it as he was a very social type of person. I could have told him that he was recuperating and he would never have known. I would have visited him every day.

Dad had another year at home and died aged 89 eighteen months ago. I have no doubt that if he had not had cancer as well then he would still be here now but probably much more confused.
 
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