I got ill three weeks' ago. Happens quite often these days, I think defenses are down as my husband has pretty advanced Alzheimer's - he is up and down all night as well as needing everything doing for him all day, can't wash dress himself, feed himself, toilet himself etc and is unsteady on his feet. He started a day's daycare recently which at last gave me a bit of a break, but has got much worse this last few months. I wasn't able to get well and continue to care for him.
My wonderful daughter contacted Social Services and arranged some emergency respite for her dad. We're reaching the stage where we think he needs permanent care, I am at breaking point. So we are trying to turn the temporary respite into permanent care.
He's been in a care home about 20 miles away (nearest available in a hurry) for the last 12 days, and my daughter has been doing all the visiting, liaising etc although she has a five and a two year old and works as a physio for the NHS, in order to give me a chance to get better. We are now in the process of trying to get a place for him full time, Best Interest meeting next week. He seemed surprisingly settled for the first few days, didn't ask for me or seem a agitated, much to my relief.
Last night the phone rang and woke me at 11pm. It was the hospital calling to say he'd been admitted after a fall, fefusing to eat or drink and aggression - apparently he'd told them to f.... off. They'd already spoken to my daughter who'd answered all their queries about how advanced he was etc, and also asked them NOT to contact me in the night as there was nothing I could do. Any way they asked me the same questions. Needless to say, not much more sleep that night, but this morning it turned out he was fine, so they discharged him back to the care home, who much to my surprise were ok to take him back.
At midnight tonight the phone rang and it was the ambulance service to let me know they were on their way to help because he'd had a fall and they were going to help get him up. They thought they were ringing the care home, but had been given my number. My husband only weighs 10 1/2 stone. He once had a fall here, but eventually in spite of his panic, I managed to persuade him to roll onto his knees so he could get up with help of a chair.
The care home had been told that he tends to try to get up a lot at night, but because I was always here beside him, I would leap straight out of bed and make sure he was ok. Of course now he is in a strange place, in the dark, and there is no-one right beside him.
I really, really feel I can no longer cope, and he would be much better off and safer (I thought) with somebody is there and awake 24/7. But I seem to be spending my time in a state of panic instead of getting well again Is this the usual sort of thing that happens? I have no experience of care and care homes. I am terrified that no care home will want him, I never could have people in to help as it made him so angry and rude, but I have reached the end of my tether. SS have agreed in principal to fund as savings and income are below threshold, but what if nobody can cope?
My wonderful daughter contacted Social Services and arranged some emergency respite for her dad. We're reaching the stage where we think he needs permanent care, I am at breaking point. So we are trying to turn the temporary respite into permanent care.
He's been in a care home about 20 miles away (nearest available in a hurry) for the last 12 days, and my daughter has been doing all the visiting, liaising etc although she has a five and a two year old and works as a physio for the NHS, in order to give me a chance to get better. We are now in the process of trying to get a place for him full time, Best Interest meeting next week. He seemed surprisingly settled for the first few days, didn't ask for me or seem a agitated, much to my relief.
Last night the phone rang and woke me at 11pm. It was the hospital calling to say he'd been admitted after a fall, fefusing to eat or drink and aggression - apparently he'd told them to f.... off. They'd already spoken to my daughter who'd answered all their queries about how advanced he was etc, and also asked them NOT to contact me in the night as there was nothing I could do. Any way they asked me the same questions. Needless to say, not much more sleep that night, but this morning it turned out he was fine, so they discharged him back to the care home, who much to my surprise were ok to take him back.
At midnight tonight the phone rang and it was the ambulance service to let me know they were on their way to help because he'd had a fall and they were going to help get him up. They thought they were ringing the care home, but had been given my number. My husband only weighs 10 1/2 stone. He once had a fall here, but eventually in spite of his panic, I managed to persuade him to roll onto his knees so he could get up with help of a chair.
The care home had been told that he tends to try to get up a lot at night, but because I was always here beside him, I would leap straight out of bed and make sure he was ok. Of course now he is in a strange place, in the dark, and there is no-one right beside him.
I really, really feel I can no longer cope, and he would be much better off and safer (I thought) with somebody is there and awake 24/7. But I seem to be spending my time in a state of panic instead of getting well again Is this the usual sort of thing that happens? I have no experience of care and care homes. I am terrified that no care home will want him, I never could have people in to help as it made him so angry and rude, but I have reached the end of my tether. SS have agreed in principal to fund as savings and income are below threshold, but what if nobody can cope?
