Is this Normal ?

[Deputypink]

Dad died a month ago today . He was ready to go and it was his time . 86 years old - 61 years of a fantastic marriage - so even though I miss him so much - I know he is out of pain and distress . I cried for a week solid and now shed a tear now and then . I am back at work ( headteacher) and put on a smile and get on with it ! But I am so so tired - is this normal ?

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Deputypink
You've sent me straight back to the months after mum died - I was tired all the time - and yet I slept so much - I felt as though I were walking through treacle - everything was an effort and seemed to take more than twice as long as before - I knew I had to keep going and 'put one foot in front of the other' as my dad said, but to do so I had to concentrate hard - I walked slowly and slouched - I even missed what people were saying to me as it was an effort to just listen
in other words- sounds very normal to me
and you are in a position where children and adults are making demands of you every minute - a distraction, yes; however also emotionally draining
give yourself some quiet time during the day, just to sit and breathe, just for a few minutes
gradually you'll find you're 'waking up', maybe with the coming of Spring
go gently

 

[Quilty]

I lost my Dad 20 years ago, and still have a little cry every now and then. I think anything can be normal when your grieving. It took me about 18 months to feel myself again after I lost my dad. I felt like I was watching myself living everyday.

Be kind to yourself and do whatever gives you inner peace. For me that is opera, in a hot bath, with the door locked. For one of my friends it was triathlon. Find your happy place and spend time in it. Let yourself feel whatever feels right for you. Your Dad would want and expect you to go on. Knowing that helps each day.

Lots of love
Quilty

 

[Anise7]

Loss and bereavement don't show on the outside so we expect too much of ourselves. But it is a wound and takes time to recover as much as we are able to. I agree, be kind to yourself and do the things your dad would have wished, I am guessing he would want you to enjoy your life.