Hi...
Dad has always...like for ever...been a very proud and private man....all through my life he let Mum do the cuddles etc....not his fault he was away at sea for much of my early years and never ' learned ' and has always felt uncomfortable showing any physical closeness......but always reciprocated when I kissed / cuddled him hello or goodbye etc. But I always knew even though he loved me he found this side of parenting hard. Also he was from the old school ...woman did the childrearing etc...
Well, lately I had noticed this has not only changed but almost gone in reverse....somuchso that I now feel a tad uncomfortable with it. The cuddles are not arms round shoulders etc but slid under my armpits
I have not shared this with my family but last week 2 of my daughters took me aside after they had visted him , seperately, and said they were feeling uneasy because he was very ' hands on ' in a ' touchy feely ' way.....not over the top or sexual as such but concerning nonetheless....
He seems to grab arms, arms around waists etc when ever you talk to him....but in a caring delicate way....
Now, is this just me being aware because it is out of character and having never practised cuddling he doesn't know how to do it. Or not...?
Am I over reacting / worried for nothing?
I haven't enjoyed typing this post.....( usual feeling of disloyalty - guilt ) such an intimate subject and totallt disrespctful to dad ( who would be mortified if he thought I was worried about this ) but just wondered if this is ' normal ' ( whatever the hell that is ) or is just Dad.....might help me understand this and know whether to speak to my children about it.....
Dad has always...like for ever...been a very proud and private man....all through my life he let Mum do the cuddles etc....not his fault he was away at sea for much of my early years and never ' learned ' and has always felt uncomfortable showing any physical closeness......but always reciprocated when I kissed / cuddled him hello or goodbye etc. But I always knew even though he loved me he found this side of parenting hard. Also he was from the old school ...woman did the childrearing etc...
Well, lately I had noticed this has not only changed but almost gone in reverse....somuchso that I now feel a tad uncomfortable with it. The cuddles are not arms round shoulders etc but slid under my armpits
I have not shared this with my family but last week 2 of my daughters took me aside after they had visted him , seperately, and said they were feeling uneasy because he was very ' hands on ' in a ' touchy feely ' way.....not over the top or sexual as such but concerning nonetheless....
He seems to grab arms, arms around waists etc when ever you talk to him....but in a caring delicate way....
Now, is this just me being aware because it is out of character and having never practised cuddling he doesn't know how to do it. Or not...?
Am I over reacting / worried for nothing?
I haven't enjoyed typing this post.....( usual feeling of disloyalty - guilt ) such an intimate subject and totallt disrespctful to dad ( who would be mortified if he thought I was worried about this ) but just wondered if this is ' normal ' ( whatever the hell that is ) or is just Dad.....might help me understand this and know whether to speak to my children about it.....