Hello to you all,
I haven't posted for some time but I would just like some advice from anyone who is in this situation.
My husband who is 85 has advanced mixed dementia, he seldom speaks, has to be fed and his mobility is now quite limited. He has been in care now for over four years.
I visit him every day and until recently he always smiled and I talked to him but the illness seems to have progressed to the point when I go in most days now there seems little sign of recognition, just a 'stone face.'
This has left me feeling alone and resentful, he is 12 years older than me and I have for the last ten years been tied to his various illnesses. I know he can't help it and he would in no way want to be in the situation he is in but neither do I.
I hate having to be responsible for everthing, the constant worry about the fees, so far I have spent £218000 on his care. I worry what will happen to me if I need care, there wont be anything left for me.
What makes all of this worse is that I just cannot remember life before dementia, I remember him at 45 when I met him and as he is now but the 38 years we were married have disappeared.
I really find this troubling, I have gone through all the stages of grief and despair and now it's just as though I'm living in void, I obviously can't go back but in the present situation going forward is not an option.
Is this numbness another stage of acceptance and letting go?
Kathy
I haven't posted for some time but I would just like some advice from anyone who is in this situation.
My husband who is 85 has advanced mixed dementia, he seldom speaks, has to be fed and his mobility is now quite limited. He has been in care now for over four years.
I visit him every day and until recently he always smiled and I talked to him but the illness seems to have progressed to the point when I go in most days now there seems little sign of recognition, just a 'stone face.'
This has left me feeling alone and resentful, he is 12 years older than me and I have for the last ten years been tied to his various illnesses. I know he can't help it and he would in no way want to be in the situation he is in but neither do I.
I hate having to be responsible for everthing, the constant worry about the fees, so far I have spent £218000 on his care. I worry what will happen to me if I need care, there wont be anything left for me.
What makes all of this worse is that I just cannot remember life before dementia, I remember him at 45 when I met him and as he is now but the 38 years we were married have disappeared.
I really find this troubling, I have gone through all the stages of grief and despair and now it's just as though I'm living in void, I obviously can't go back but in the present situation going forward is not an option.
Is this numbness another stage of acceptance and letting go?
Kathy