Mum has been bedridden and incontinent for the last seven months and consequently has developed a rash which makes it too difficult and sore for her to use incontinence pads at the moment. So she is just lying on an absorbent pad in bed in the care home. She is too frail to be hoisted now. She is routinely checked every two hours. However today when I visited her hands and nails were very dirty and there were traces of faeces on her top and the sheets. Ironic as she was always known for having two showers a day up until a few months ago and she would be absolutely horrified beyond belief if she knew what was happening. Dad found her in the same condition last week and asked the carers to change and clean her which they did straightaway as I did again today. So distressing to see her like that and also for visitors. I live 200 miles away and come up every 3 weeks and find it difficult to build up any rapport with the staff and the manager is not there at weekends when I visit. Understandably my 84 year old dad doesn't want to make a fuss and antagonise anyone. I don't have any particular issues with the home and I will raise this if I get a chance on Monday morning. You wouldn't leave your child or pet in that state, why should the onus be on the relatives? She only has a few weeks/months left and I wish she would just not wake up tomorrow and that's because I love her so much.
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