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Is this level of (non) hygiene acceptable?

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
Mum has been bedridden and incontinent for the last seven months and consequently has developed a rash which makes it too difficult and sore for her to use incontinence pads at the moment. So she is just lying on an absorbent pad in bed in the care home. She is too frail to be hoisted now. She is routinely checked every two hours. However today when I visited her hands and nails were very dirty and there were traces of faeces on her top and the sheets. Ironic as she was always known for having two showers a day up until a few months ago and she would be absolutely horrified beyond belief if she knew what was happening. Dad found her in the same condition last week and asked the carers to change and clean her which they did straightaway as I did again today. So distressing to see her like that and also for visitors. I live 200 miles away and come up every 3 weeks and find it difficult to build up any rapport with the staff and the manager is not there at weekends when I visit. Understandably my 84 year old dad doesn't want to make a fuss and antagonise anyone. I don't have any particular issues with the home and I will raise this if I get a chance on Monday morning. You wouldn't leave your child or pet in that state, why should the onus be on the relatives? She only has a few weeks/months left and I wish she would just not wake up tomorrow and that's because I love her so much.


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Gigglemore

Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
526
British Isles
Your poor Mum - and how distressing for you and your Dad to have to watch her become so frail and uncomfortable.

Hope you are able to get some reassurance about the frequency of the checks once the manager is back in the office tomorrow.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
Oh LL, how upsetting to find your mum like that. It somehow makes it worse when she has spent all of her life being so clean.

No, I don't find that acceptable at all, and would make that very clear to the manager, not in a nasty way, but very firmly. As you say, Mum may not have very much longer and you say, she deserves to spend her last days in a clean condition.

This was something I was always very particular about with Roger in the care home as he too was very fussy about being clean. I ensured he was showered daily and always had enough good clothes to look smart.

I hated it when I went in and found, on the rare occasions, that his nails were dirty, so got into the habit of cleaning them. I do accept that sometimes staff are hard pressed for time, but staff should make sure that dignity of preserved.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,079
West Hertfordshire
N, not really acceptable, but then nor is a rash that severe really. I do wonder how he got into that state?

Presumably she's scratching where she is sore and soiling her nails that way. \perhaps cotton gloves might help. At least an ample supply could be provided, at least the could be easily washed.
 

LeedsLass

Registered User
Oct 13, 2014
107
Essex
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I think cotton gloves are a good idea. She has been cleaner the last couple of times. The doctor has been today and advised that she is just to be made comfortable so I'm hoping things won't go on for too much longer. I wish you well x


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