Is this financial abuse

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by Alexjojam, Jun 26, 2015.

  1. Alexjojam

    Alexjojam Registered User

    Nov 6, 2014
    3
    I am not 100% sure of this, however I think my sister takes money from our mother also other gifts. Can we get her accounts sorted so 2 signatures are needed for monies to be taken from her bank? She gives things and can't remember. Personally I think no one should take things because she can't remember and I feel she is very vulnerable.
     
  2. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    The first thing to ascertain is who holds the LPA. If nobody does then it should be arranged as soon as possible so that any expenditure of your mother is above board.
     
  3. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Be certain of your facts before you do anything. *Think* she does, isn't the same as does.

    I gave up a full time job to look after my mother, My father insisted he paid me, and after he died I continued to get the money ( it wasn't a lot, but as he said, what was going to pay my bills-) - he'd set up a standing order.


    So yes I had money from my Mum. was it abuse? no.
     
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,711
    Female
    London
    It all depends on her mental capacity. If she still has it, she is free to give money to her daughter (though she has to be careful about large sums as here might be a deprivation of assets issue). If she does no longer have the mental capacity, then it's also too late for her to give power of attorney and you would have to go down the deputyship role to gain control of her money.
     
  5. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,592
    Yorkshire
    I too would recommend caution before making accusations.

    When my OH took over his mum's finances last year, he discovered she'd been handing over substantial sums to his younger sister each month for some time. However, his mum knew what she was doing, she knew her daughter really needed the money and it was her way of thanking her for her day to day care.

    OH was a bit put out at first (and elder sister was pretty upset) but only because it came down to the old grievance of all three siblings not being treated the same. But the point is, my MIL knew exactly what she was doing and, at that stage, it was her right to spend her money as she wished.

    Since OH had LPA, this has now stopped as there was clearly no justification for the gifts since MIL moved into the CH.

    So I agree with the others. The best way to sort this out is by getting a LPA or deputyship asap and all transactions should then become more transparent.
     
  6. Alexjojam

    Alexjojam Registered User

    Nov 6, 2014
    3

    Thing is although others know my mother is not right this sister insists there is nothing wrong with her when clearly there is. I am a nurse and have noticed changes over several months, can't understand why she is insisting there is nothing wrong, my father has just died and they have been going through his things like there's no tomorrow even wanting to shred paper! Does this seem appropriate?? His funeral has not even taken place yet personally I am appalled.
     
  7. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,592
    Yorkshire
    Looking back, my dad died very unexpectedly and as an only child dealing with mum and the funeral arrangements, I asked my OH to go through all the paperwork as we had to come up with a plan about how we were going to manage Mum and her finances, pdq. So that in itself isn't necessarily a cause for concern. However, your gut instincts are clearly telling you something is wrong so you need to get to the bottom of this, without causing offence and a family rift.

    Have you tried sitting down together as a family to work out where you go from here as regards your mum? Is there a Lasting Power of Attorney in place? If not, then that could be the opening gambit for the conversation. I knew nothing about them but when I took Mum in to read Dad's will, I arranged for her to sign one there and then. That then gave me the authority to arrange her finances legally. If you are concerned about your sister, then this is a way to control her access to your mum's money, but you do need to take advice about the best way to set it up if you have suspicions she may be helping herself to cash.

    Are there any other siblings or is it just the two of you?
     

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