Hello. I learned today my 64 yr old husband can't say his abc's. He almost finished but left out a couple of letters. I've noticed he has been having difficulty making decisions and depends on me. He gets agitated sometimes and says he doesn't understand something. My husband has been diagnosed with demyelination lesions on the brain and empty spaces. The doctor is going to order another Mir in 6 months. We don't yet know what is wrong.
Is this dementia?
- Thread starter Lillyanne
- Start date
Lillyanne, welcome to TP. I had to Google the diagnosis your husband has been given, I think you would have to discuss these symptoms with his doctor. It must be such a worrying time for you both. Whether it's dementia or not you are going to need support and you've come to a wonderful place for that. xxxxx
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Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Welcome to TP. Great place for help and support.
Can your husband read a clock? Can he draw a clock? I only ask as this was a sympton my mum had after a stroke which left her with empty spaces in her brain. The stroke itself dudnt have the usual symptons but she had TIAs without being aware.
I would keep a diary of things you notice over a period of time and show it to doctor and Definetly stop him driving, even if it means immobilising the car as has been known on this site.
Sorry you are having to deal with this but hope TP will help you through it all.
Can your husband read a clock? Can he draw a clock? I only ask as this was a sympton my mum had after a stroke which left her with empty spaces in her brain. The stroke itself dudnt have the usual symptons but she had TIAs without being aware.
I would keep a diary of things you notice over a period of time and show it to doctor and Definetly stop him driving, even if it means immobilising the car as has been known on this site.
Sorry you are having to deal with this but hope TP will help you through it all.
I'm going to try to figure a way to check whether he can read a clock. I asked him to say his Abc's again this morning and he missed the n, q,r and then got to the w and ended with " and some sh.." He said he hadn't been able to do the alphabet for awhile but wouldn't let anyone know. He is on a board of directors and does fine with reading and writing emails. I edit for him, though. I asked him to do a color blindness test on the computer and he missed a few. He got frustrated and walked out of the room. I'm not sure how to approach the doctor.
Hi Lillyanne and a warm welcome too from me to TP.
This must be a worrying time for you, but I agree with advice that others have given, and that is that you need to speak to your GP, and explain the situation.And sadly, I also agree that he shouldn't be driving. I hope you get a chance to talk everything over with your GP and I wish you well.
Hi Lillyanne and a warm welcome too from me to TP.
And sadly, I also agree that he shouldn't be driving. I hope you get a chance to talk everything over with your GP and I wish you well.
Thank you!
Hi lillyanne. Welcome from me too. You are in the right place for sympathy, help, and advice. Mine would be to get your GP and a Memory clinic involved asap. Don't make the mistake I made initially, and let yourself be fobbed off with palliatives.
All the best, and keep smiling.
m
All the best, and keep smiling.
m
Hi. Just to say welcome and I agree with what everyone else has said. It's a good idea to jot down anything that seems odd or different, however small, to discuss with Dr. Keep posting and reading there's always someone to help.
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
Lillyanne, I agree with others and must stress the importance of stopping him driving. He is clearly not safe behind the wheel. You would not want it on your conscience if the unthinkable happened to him or worse, to someone else, with him at the wheel. Various methods are possible. You could simply hide his keys. You could temporarily disable the car by disconnecting a battery lead. You could take the car away for 'repairs' that will take 'some time to fix'. Do something, any thing, to stop him driving right NOW. No one else will help you with this, as I found out the hard way recently. Doctors seem reluctant to tell patients they are not fit to drive. The DVLA took 3 months to go through their pontificating processes to eventually revoke my mum-in-law's licence. By that stage we had already sold her car.
Today I asked him to draw a clock. I told him it was a graphic organizer for my writing. He did great!
In the early days of my husband's illness,long before a diagnosis I would use all sorts of tactics to check how he was functioning without frightening him. I think your way of checking the clock drawing was great. I used to, and still do sometimes say it's me that has the problem with doing ... can he help? I wonder,assuming you drive if you could pretend to be more anxious about driving and volunteer for a couple of refresher lessons. And suggest he joins in too with a couple for him, that could give you some objective feedback on whether he is still fit to drive. It is such a big step to stop, essential if needed on safety grounds, but very hard to come to terms with.
It's a very strange thing this dementia . We are being visited by our MH nurse on Monday. To date OH has refused the tests last one was done at the very start 4 years ago and he did OK . He did not have his driving licence renewed this time and still thinks he is fit to drive so I suggested he do the cognitive tests on Monday and this would perhaps help with his case. So he said he needed to practice for it. I got the tests off the net.. The one about drawing a circle and putting the numbers on the right place to make a clock face. This tests executive function .getting dressed, planning projects and remembering tests in complex tasks. I was so shocked with his inability to do this.He put random numbers everywhere but on or in the circle he had drawn . We did year, month, backward calendar etc , no better on these either. We had a very relaxed 20 mins together doing these which was lovely . After 10 mins he said I got 100℅ on those didn't I . I went upstairs and wept for him, how could it be this bad and I didn't know . See what Monday brings. It was his 70th birthday last week he looks 60 ish , fit as a fiddle ,trendy dresser ,slim everyone said how well he looked. How looks can be deceptive. So my advice is try and be aittle more receptive to changes than I am.
Please don't be too hard on yourself for not noticing things changing. You won't notice as much as a person who doesn't see the sufferer on a daily basis. When in a normal day would you draw a clock, you wouldn't really so you wouldn't have known. Some sufferers my Dad included does his best to cover up his inabilities without even me realising it. He just says things like the sun was on the cashpoint so I couldn't read the screen. No you can't do it anymore but won't admit it, so I just go along with it most of the time. Don't worry about the results you did, the doctor can make his own judgement when he sees you next and he can be the bad guy instead of you. I know what you mean about weeping for him. Done that on many occasions when I notice my lovely parents become people I don't recognise at all with their standards slipping, their hygiene going and becoming self centred. It hurts every time.
Try to enjoy the weekend.
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