My dad does not have a formal diagnosis of Alzheimers as such but he definitely has it. It started very gradually 2 years ago and has, in the last few months got a lot worse. My dad is 84, my mum 79 and she is really struggling to cope- with the physical care he needs, the isolation, the lack of conversation. Until very recently, just a couple of weeks ago, she was adamant she could manage. She is now desperate for help and in her words is a prisoner. I live close by and see them every day, sort all the appointments etc and do all i can, my sister see's them and my brother, who lives 250 miles away does a fortnightly round trip to take dad out for a few hours to give mum a break. I am currently dealing with the carers centre as mum is now ready to have an assessment. Anyway, it's been a bad weekend for them. It's so hard to write this and I feel so bad for dad saying this but yesterday, for the first time ever, he soiled himself. He wasn't aware but we smelt it and after a lot of coaxing we checked him and it was everywhere. It took mum, me and my 13 year old son to shower and clean him and redress him. It was so hard doing that because my dad would have been mortified if he had capacity to think his wife,daughter and grandson had had to do that. We put it down to a one off but when I visited today, my dad had obviously wet himself, his trousers were soaked. He was again completely unaware and my poor mum was so upset as she said she had been reminding him to use the toilet all day. Is this the middle stage of dementia? Has my dad become doubly incontinent LITERALLY overnight? It's so frightening.