Is this AD or attenion seeking.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Dreamwalker13, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Dreamwalker13

    Dreamwalker13 Registered User

    Apr 2, 2007
    2
    Leeds
    Last year my Grandfather was diagnosed with AD shortly after my Gran died considering the circumstance we have all (mum, dad, sister, brother in law, me and my partner) coped pretty well. Last night my grandfathers neighbour brought my Grandfather to my parents house at gone 10pm saying that the burglar alarm was going off. When we took my Grandfather back home the alarm sounder was no longer going off but the light was flashing and the control panel was showing the tampered light (this could have been the neighbour attempting to turn the alarm off). When we asked my grandfather what had happened he siad he had gone in to one of the bedrooms looking for the remote for the TV (which had fallen down the side of his chair) and couldn't get the light to come on. In the bedroom he went in to the light switch is behind the door (and always has been) but when they installed the alarm system the panic switch was placed just in side the door. the reason we are so confused as to wether this was his AD or attenion seeking is because the neighbour did not know where any of us live yet my grandfather managed to direct the neighbour to at the very least my house and my parents house.

    Any insight or opion would be greatly appricated.

    AJ
     
  2. Gromit

    Gromit Registered User

    Apr 3, 2006
    187
    Edinburgh
    Hi AJ,

    Its difficult sometimes to understand the workings of this disease. My Dad has recently been diagnosed (though the symptoms have been around for at least 18months). He is still able to set the burglar alarm, but has taken to turning off the boiler instead of the central heating (had the same system for years now) - much to the dismay of my Mum when she comes to use the hot water!

    Dad is able to remember many things - and not others - with no apparent logic to it.

    So if someone is able to forget the location of a light switch and accidentally press a panic alarm but can remember directions - that wouldn't at all suprise me. Again there is no logic to it - so it is likely to be the disease.

    I wish I was able to catagorically state these actions are due solely to the disease - however, a disease with no logic and the fact that everyone seems to suffer differently from it doesn't enable me to provide you with any certainty I'm afraid - just an opinion. However, I can share with you my experience with my Dad and hopefully help you that way.

    With kindest regards

    Alison
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Hi AJ,
    Welcome to TP.

    Whatever your grandfather does, I`d give him the benefit of the doubt.

    If he forgets, it does not necessarily mean he`ll forget everything. he may be attention seeking, but then again, he may not.

    My husband can ask the same question every couple of minutes, but remember something else, the next morning. It`s absolutely unexplainable.
     
  4. Dreamwalker13

    Dreamwalker13 Registered User

    Apr 2, 2007
    2
    Leeds
    I can have the same conversation with my grandfather 3 times in a row we just seem to go round in circles but he has done that for years. This morning while waiting for the engineer to come to the alarm he confused me with my sister (but a lot of people do that we look very similar) but all in all he seemed fine. read his paper and watched the kids educational programs on TV some of which he joined in with. he still doesn't understand how he set the alarm off and has told me a different story to what the neighbour told my parents and my partner last night. the neighbour insists that my grandfather was in floods of tears when he found him. but my grandfather said that the neighbour was knocking on the door while he was looking for his remote and offered to take him to my parents house.

    AJ
     
  5. Gromit

    Gromit Registered User

    Apr 3, 2006
    187
    Edinburgh
    I have noticed that my Dad sometimes recalls events differently to what others recall them. I don't know if it is that because he can't remember he makes up his own version or if what he remembers is a different version.

    Either way, I tend to agree and go along with what he says. Its much easier that way and I wouldn't want Dad to think he "got it wrong".

    I too have repeatative conversations with my Dad. However, I am learning to keep the same amount of enthusiasm in my voice as I did the first time I answered one of his questions. Conversations last much longer and we tend to talk about alot more things this way. Though afterwards I feel a little bit sad that this is happening to him. However, trying to see the positive helps me to cope when he is repeating himself. At least he is interested enough to bother to ask me questions! It shows he still cares about what is happening in my life - very comforting.

    Try not to be too concerned if your Grandad doesn't always remember things the same way as everyone else. I think it is all part of the difficult journey we are on.

    Take care.

    Alison
     
  6. Nebiroth

    Nebiroth Registered User

    Aug 20, 2006
    3,511
    I would say it is likely the disease. You can get the most bizarre "quirks" of behavior that are seemingly completely at odds with how well you think someone with it can function.

    At the present moment, my Dad is quite lucid and functions pretty well, with one exception: he is convinced that where we live is different from where we used to live, and comes out with all sorts of peculiar things based on that one faulty premise. For example, he insists that the TV isn't showing his favourite programmes "because we are in a different Southampton to the old one". Southampton has recently been relocated to different parts of England, the Isle of Wight and even France! And we got here by boat.

    So it is quite possible for some to behave relatively "normally" and then come out with something really weird out of the blue.

    Like trying to use the newspaper TV listings to change channels. "I keep pressing it and nothing happens".

    I like to think of it like a telephone exchange. You get a crossed connection that results in complete nonsense, although to the individual it makes sense.

    I think you'll find it's a passing phase. A few months ago we constantly found the freezer switched to Fast Freeze "because it makes the airing cupboard heat up".
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Dreamwalker

    I agree with the others, what your grandfather did is entirely consistent with AD. I'm afraid actions that were automatic yesterday may cause total confusion today -- and be automatic again tomorrow!

    I would believe the neighbour when he says he found your grandfather in floods of tears. He would be very upset at not being able to stop the alarm, and this would have made his confusion worse.

    Later, speaking to you, he would have put the panic out of his mind, and would be totally convinced that the neighbour had set the alarm off! He's not lying, his brain has skewed the situation to make it more comfortable.

    Just be gentle with him, and go along with his story. Anything else will simply increase the confusion again.

    Sorry, it's hard to deal with, I know.

    Love,
     
  8. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    As other have said, it is pretty common for people with dementia to take parts of a story and cobble them together in their own unique way. My own mother (VID) is convinced and has been for several months, that the chef at her nursing home trained with her mother! Now she fully accepts that her mother dies in 1958 and that the chef in question is in his 30's, and that is now 2007 which means her mother died 49 years ago but you cannot convince her that the facts and the story are incompatible. Now this is a story that doesn't affect her sense of self worth. When confronted with a situation that does reflect on one's abilities, or lack thereof, it's not surprising that the mind would attempt to take the parts it can remember and fill in the blanks with what seems to be both logical and protective of one's own self-worth. For your grandfather's perspective it is much more likely that the neighbour carried him off, so to speak, than that he, a man who has lived independently for 60 years or so, can no longer work out how to turn a light switch on.

    Jennifer
     
  9. Nebiroth

    Nebiroth Registered User

    Aug 20, 2006
    3,511
    It's certainly not worth arguing. Dad will almost certainly cling to his version of events, and will simply deny anything that contradicts his own world view.

    We know this from bitter experience, it is better to go along with the confabulations than it is to have all the rows, tantrums and upsets that go with trying to "put Dad right".

    Unfortunately people with dementia are, very often, simply not ammenable to reason or rational argument. And even if they are, five minutes later it can all be forgotten and you're back to another concocted series of events.

    In part this is almost certainly the self-protective mechanisms that Jenniferpa has described so eloquently!
     
  10. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    I am convinced that often it is attention seeking so that they can be assured that they are being cared for. What do I do? Provide assurance, anything else is negative.

    Dick
     

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