Is this a normal reaction ?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Flake, May 9, 2015.

  1. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Whats wrong with me? I visit my mum everyday as I have posted on here before. I do most things for her. Recently she had her diagnosis of VasD and AZ which I am slowly getting used to. I work full time and have quite a stressful job. I have now started to get heartburn, stomach churning, I am not sleeping well and feel constantly angry. I shouted at the poor dog today and then felt so bad. I am managing to keep cheerful with my mum although I escape to the kitchen for a silent swear. Is this a reaction to the diagnosis, is it normal and will it pass? I feel like I want to get a punchbag and knock the stuffing out of it :eek:
     
  2. daisydi

    daisydi Registered User

    Feb 25, 2015
    257
    Norfolk
    Ditto. I have just posted that I do not understand and I think that is why I get so frustrated!
     
  3. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,563
    Scotland
    I understand but it is still so frustrating.
     
  4. win

    win Registered User

    Oct 14, 2012
    90
    Anger and frustration are both normal reactions Your heartburn and other "illnesses" including stress is the result, is has to come out some where. As a carer we go through what is commonly known as a slow bereavement with all the feelings that usually come with a loss. You are doing the right thing seeking support here, support groups and additional knowledge about Dementia is another option to help you cope better. It is such a hard road you are walking.
     
  5. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,535
    North East England
    Stress can cause the most horrible physical symptoms; I know because I've been there myself!

    It's totally understandable, and if you can't manage your symptoms, please don't hesitate to visit your GP and ask for help.

    Big hugs xx
     
  6. cerridwen

    cerridwen Registered User

    Dec 29, 2012
    99
    Gloucestershire
    Dear Flake,

    I have experienced (and am still experiencing) the same symptoms as you and they are the signs that you are under a lot of stress. When my Mum was diagnosed as terminally ill and my Dad diagnosed with vascular dementia just a few months later I started to get heartburn, indigestion and stomachache. This was in 2012 and I've had it on and off every since with many other stress symptoms.
    Yes, it's normal, but visit your GP for some medication to relieve it. A boxer's punch bag is a good idea if you can get hold of one! As is other exercise. I have posted on here recently because I am really stressed and the ideas and suggestions for exercise, relaxation, yoga and keeping a diary were excellent. Start now, because you don't want the symptoms to develop any more if you can help it.
    We are always here for you, just vent on here! Jane xx
     
  7. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    due to mum getting fully diagnosed last year and my job horrible, and B getting worse, all I can say is I had a nervous breakdown, my GP signed me off for a month, luckily the weather was the best and I got the garden done and yes walking helps , but I write fanfiction :eek: and that helps me, I can murder so many people.:D
     
  8. GingerMac

    GingerMac Registered User

    Apr 12, 2015
    2
    Cork
    I know the fealling...

    I know what your saying. My Mums in Hospital, she's in 5 weeks nearly most days I get up and when i Go to bathroom or before in bed i throw up, but nothing come up mostly but sometimes it does. This can go on for 20min, Its even happened in an art class I go to.
     
  9. chrisdee

    chrisdee Registered User

    Nov 23, 2014
    171
    Yorkshire
    Sadly, most probably all of us on this site have been there. A high stress job must make it much worse. It can be bad enough even if one is retired like me. I found the gym really helps, and I'm no fitness freak.
     
  10. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Thank you, all of you, I think I am quite relieved as I have had a day of worrying if I have something 'wrong'. Heartburn and churning still going on and I really dont want to go into work tomorrow- got a stupidly busy day. Was out in the car the other day and completely forgot where I was going - had to ring the office and get someone to check :eek: As for my Mum she was her usual self, continually repeating questions but thankfully she seems happy enough apart from mouth ulcers - now going to check the medication side effects - either that or she has been up to something :confused:.
    Thank you again xxx
     
  11. dumpygirl

    dumpygirl Registered User

    Nov 20, 2013
    115
    derbyshire
    Amytripteline

    I had these symptons and understand how you feel. When I went to my doctor she prescribed a tablet called amytripteline and this has really helped me. I started off with a 10 mg dose and gradually increased it to 50 mg. I was not sleeping well too and this has really made a difference and I feel calmer . I hope you will soon feel less stressed .
     
  12. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    I get you. Felt exactly the same more than once. I didn't want to go the GP because I am very stupid and not very keen on the drugs they dish out BUT I did take Kalms and they worked really well for me. I used them before in times of crisis and they just take the edge of that intense anger/frustration/exhaustion. Might be worth a try. Thinking of you xxxx
     
  13. ginniecam

    ginniecam Registered User

    May 10, 2015
    2
    Cambs
    I get Irritable Bowel Syndrome-stress related & not pleasant.
    I also have an ulcer & hiatus hernia-all are made worse by stress.
    You have my utmost sympathy, you really do-when someone we love is diagnosed with dementia carers are also other victims.
     
  14. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    I am sure you are not stupid ! and like you I dont really want to take drugs, but will go to the GP and see what he/she says. Tried Kalms in the past for sleep but they didnt help much but am willing to try again. Thank you xx
     
  15. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Went to see my GP. I have been prescribed Zopiclone and she also offered me Diazepam which I said I wouldnt have. I am due to go back and see her and she will sign me off work for a week. Not sure why but I do feel guilty about taking time off :eek:
     
  16. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    442
    I get palpitations and Ibs symptoms every time I call my mum, and this is worse on days when I visit dreading whether she will be argumentative awkward and obstructive in every way I try to help her.
    No one else in the family except my SIL will have anything to do with the evil old trout.
    Rant over, I will now be able to stay calm with a fixed smile when she starts running me down on how little I do for her.
     
  17. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,161
    Exact same symptoms. I think it's why a lot of us wonder if we will pre-decease the relative with dementia!
    When I was running a few times a week, it helped. I also walk the dog, do yoga, etc. All you can do is acknowledge the stress you are under and try to look after yourself.
     
  18. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    Just completed my second day of a week away from work. Cant believe how much I have slept. 8 hours last night, then a snooze in the garden this pm. Still seeing my Mum every day and her rambling is still the same, I was someone else today, a distant relative who died a long time ago and I think she is getting worse, so the medication is not making much of an improvement but it could be early days? Tomorrow is another day and I am looking forward to another night of peaceful sleep :) (I hope) x
     

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