My mum's 60 and we finally had confirmation from a neurologist this week that mum is "dementing". The diagnosis has been delayed due to the fact that mum moved 300 miles away 2.5 years ago and doesn't recognise her problems herself (probably a blessing in many ways). We now need to wait 3 months for the results of a brain scan. Mum is still unaware of the diagnosis and is convinced that her "memory problems" are associated with a concussion she received 5 years ago (perhaps it is) and that she'll soon be back to normal.
About 2 months ago we managed to get her into sheltered accommodation down here (as an interim measure, possibly) and she's now decided she wants to move again. I know there's nothing we can do about that.
My biggest concern at the moment, on the practical front, is that over her ability to deal with her financial matters. When she moved away she bought a house outright and had plenty left over from the sale to help her live more comfortably on her disablement benefits. She's come back down here with nothing but 30,000 of debts (being paid of this week as we've just managed to sell her house).
When she came back down here she admitted she needed help with her money, but she's now feeling (I think) as if she's risking losing control and wants to deal with all herself again. But she doesn't have a clue when it comes to this - she struggles to address an envelope (writing phone number instead of postcode), compose a letter or remember the content of a conversation. Understanding bank statements is impossible for her. She signs up for things, eg buying an electric scooter without realising she's going to have to pay thousands for it!
I've handed back her paperwork but I'm really worried that things are going to deteriorate from the current lack of overdraft and debts into something like what we've just managed to clear - and this time there will be no house to sell!
We (my brother and I) considered at one point, when mum was still asking for help, getting an enduring power of attourney - but the doubt over her current diagnosis and ability to decide to do this meant we chose to wait. Now it seems we should wait at least another 3 months for the formal diagnosis - and perhaps for the doctors to talk to mum about it before we can do anything more.
Mum is unaware of the diagnosis because it was made in a discussion after the appointment due to the fact that mum made it clear that she didn't want us to discuss her with the doctor in her presence. The doctor fortunately got in touch afterwards to get the information about how mum really was.
I should also add that mum has always been "difficult", with a long history of mental illness that makes the current situation even more difficult. We considered seeing a solicitor for advice but if it came to the point of going to court I think mum would shut us out completely and she would also avoid going back for the tests and doctor's appointments - so we're putting that course of action on hold until October, at least.
Mum has no grasp of her limitations at the moment and even talks about getting a job as a youth worker (something she was good at years ago). But she doesn't know what day of the week it is, has been told not to drive until the results of tests etc are through, and seems to hurtle from one disaster to another!
If anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate some advice.
My aologies for such a long, rambling first post - so much has been going on that it's difficult to summarise neatly.
Yours hopefully,
About 2 months ago we managed to get her into sheltered accommodation down here (as an interim measure, possibly) and she's now decided she wants to move again. I know there's nothing we can do about that.
My biggest concern at the moment, on the practical front, is that over her ability to deal with her financial matters. When she moved away she bought a house outright and had plenty left over from the sale to help her live more comfortably on her disablement benefits. She's come back down here with nothing but 30,000 of debts (being paid of this week as we've just managed to sell her house).
When she came back down here she admitted she needed help with her money, but she's now feeling (I think) as if she's risking losing control and wants to deal with all herself again. But she doesn't have a clue when it comes to this - she struggles to address an envelope (writing phone number instead of postcode), compose a letter or remember the content of a conversation. Understanding bank statements is impossible for her. She signs up for things, eg buying an electric scooter without realising she's going to have to pay thousands for it!
I've handed back her paperwork but I'm really worried that things are going to deteriorate from the current lack of overdraft and debts into something like what we've just managed to clear - and this time there will be no house to sell!
We (my brother and I) considered at one point, when mum was still asking for help, getting an enduring power of attourney - but the doubt over her current diagnosis and ability to decide to do this meant we chose to wait. Now it seems we should wait at least another 3 months for the formal diagnosis - and perhaps for the doctors to talk to mum about it before we can do anything more.
Mum is unaware of the diagnosis because it was made in a discussion after the appointment due to the fact that mum made it clear that she didn't want us to discuss her with the doctor in her presence. The doctor fortunately got in touch afterwards to get the information about how mum really was.
I should also add that mum has always been "difficult", with a long history of mental illness that makes the current situation even more difficult. We considered seeing a solicitor for advice but if it came to the point of going to court I think mum would shut us out completely and she would also avoid going back for the tests and doctor's appointments - so we're putting that course of action on hold until October, at least.
Mum has no grasp of her limitations at the moment and even talks about getting a job as a youth worker (something she was good at years ago). But she doesn't know what day of the week it is, has been told not to drive until the results of tests etc are through, and seems to hurtle from one disaster to another!
If anyone has any suggestions I'd appreciate some advice.
My aologies for such a long, rambling first post - so much has been going on that it's difficult to summarise neatly.
Yours hopefully,