Is there anything else we can do?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Margaret79, Feb 19, 2015.

  1. Margaret79

    Margaret79 Registered User

    I am really struggling with MIL at the moment, two part problem me thinks.

    She seems to be having delusions and hallucinations most of the time that she’s awake now, the haloperidol prescribed to help with sundowning is having no effect at all now. She either sleeps or is backwards and forwards from her annexe to the house with some story or other, none of it has any truth.

    Spending time with her, getting her to do small jobs makes no difference, she starts again as soon as she’s finished the task. She won’t or can’t interact with the Crossroads carers who come in twice a week for a couple of hours and spends most of the time dozing and doesn’t converse with them.

    She had a UTI a couple of weeks ago which is now clear after antibiotics and is otherwise in rude health. :eek:

    My health is not good at the moment as my fibromyalgia has flared up so I’m on a short fuse with her and Himself. I’m just so fed up with not being able to complete a task without interruptions, everything takes so long and I’m exhausted most of the time. I never feel like I’ve achieved anything at the end of the day, I just fire fight.

    She is going into respite at the end of April when we are having our first holiday for 5 years, a week on the Norfolk Broads in a boat. I’m also booked for a meditation weekend at Launde Abbey at the beginning of April so there are nice things to look forward to.

    Not sure if this is just a phase she’s going through but am thinking that calling the GP to review her meds and maybe ask for a referral back to Mental Health Team is the way to go. Although I'm not sure there's much they can do I would feel better if we spoke to someone with knowledge of the problems we are experiencing.

    Any suggestions gratefully received.

    She’s been over twice whilst I’ve been writing this... grrrr :mad::mad:
  2. joggyb

    joggyb Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    I think you've answered your own questions! Sounds like a very good idea to call the GP for a meds review and referral back to Mental Health. It's important to let those people know that you are struggling, and MiL is delusional and hallucinating. That's all very challenging stuff, and you shouldn't have to deal with it on your own - let alone while managing your own health issues.

    Good luck.
  3. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    I would definitely ask the GP to review the meds. Haloperidol is an older drug, there are newer ones which might be more helpful.
  4. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    Near Southampton
    I think it's perhaps time for you to be thinking of your own care Margaret.
    Perhaps a different drug might your MIL help more as Joanne has suggested.
    I suppose there's not a chance an infection might be involved.

    It's a long time until the end of April and too long for you to be in pain alongside trying to cope with your MIL.
    Is there any chance a little more respite? x
  5. Margaret79

    Margaret79 Registered User

    #5 Margaret79, Feb 19, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2015
    Thanks for your responses.

    I have a telephone consultation booked for Monday with GP so we'll see what she has to say. She's usually very good but with her time so short she isn't able to do what the MH team can do, eg come to the house, talk to us and observe MIL. I think this is necessary, as much for me as for MIL so will be asking/pushing GP for re referral.

    Don't think more respite is on the cards Saffie. The place she goes to is very booked up as they are 1 of only 2 places nearby that do bookable respite. Also, it costs £750 a week! She does go on Wednesday for daycare so that's a bit of respite in the week.

    Had a nice snooze whilst carer here and MIL wasn't constantly coming over, lovely! :D Onwards and upwards :rolleyes:
  6. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    North East
    Does she go to day care at all? That might give you a break, especially as you are not 100% fit yourself.
    Possibly ask the GP to give her a good check over and medication review and if social services are also around maybe a full review of her care might be in order. If they aren't involved then get the GP to refer her to them.
    You must look after you. It's important to all of you xxx
  7. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    sorry you are having such a hard time

    much love and support


Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.