1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Jo108

    Jo108 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2019
    14
    Hi everyone
    I posted a couple of days ago, the care home dad was in sent him to hospital saying he was aggressive and have refused to have him back. He was only there for just over two weeks!!Dad has shown no aggression in hospital just typical agitation and confusion. The care home was for people with dementia I feel because dad didn’t conform to the other clients sleepy, non mobile etc the home couldn’t cope with his needs.
    I saw dad yesterday after four days in hospital I didn’t want to go before because I was told he would be transferred to another hospital to wait for an assessment bed. I didn’t want to unsettle him or make him sad when I had to leave he has been moved from pillar to post. Oh my so sad just after 4 days he’s lost weight looks grey, he’s not getting out of bed. Sadly he is now not wanting to eat or drink. I took over his favourite things and tried I put a bit of sandwich in his mouth his face grimaced and it just sat there it was like he didn’t know what to do with it. Last week in the home he was on his feet and eating well. I’m so sad i don’t think he’s coming out and realise maybe that’s why he’s not been transferred. I can’t see anything that is going to change him, why has this all happened in four days with being in hospital also he has no speech just babbled noises. Anyone been through this stage or similar???? What will happen to him, just lay there???
    Many thanks x
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,877
    Kent
    Hello @Jo108

    Do you know if your dad has an infection? If so, it can cause a big change in his agitation and confusion. Please ask the hospital staff if this is why he hasn`t yet been moved.
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,877
    Kent
    Hello @Jo108

    Do you know if your dad has an infection? If so, it can cause a big change in his agitation and confusion. Please ask the hospital staff if this is why he hasn`t yet been moved.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,877
    Kent
    Hello @Jo108

    Do you know if your dad has an infection? If so, it can cause a big change in his agitation and confusion. Please ask the hospital staff if this is why he hasn`t yet been moved.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,783
    Female
    South coast
    Yes, do talk to the doctors about these changes.
    Another possibility is that he has had a small stroke.
     
  6. Jo108

    Jo108 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2019
    14
    I’m going to call the hospital now, after 5 days shouldn’t a doctor or someone contacted me?? Wish me luck!
     
  7. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,096
    Male
    Bristol
    Sorry your dad has got worse, Jo. Sometimes the doctors have called me when my partner has been admitted, and other times I've had to call at 11 when they finish their rounds or just go in and ask a nurse to make sure the doctor speaks to me. It's a worrying time and makes visiting harder, so I'll wish you good luck and hope you get some information and your dad recovers soon.
     
  8. Jo108

    Jo108 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2019
    14
    Hi I’ve just called the hospital the nurse said an urine sample was sent yesterday and a doctor should see him today. They will call if they have any info. Dad is still not eating or drinking I said he isn’t going to suddenly start again and what will the next steps be.... unfortunately the nurse was vague I think the ward he’s on is a kind of limbo wears with patients waiting to be seen as to where they go next. The nurses seem to deliver care but not medical care if that makes sense. I said it’s 5 days since admission and no one has contacted me at all. Someone else on here mentioned a possible stroke?? Dad has vascular D I’m not sure that they would know??

    Do you know if your dad has an infection? If so, it can cause a big change in his agitation and confusion. Please ask the hospital staff if this is why he hasn`t yet been moved.[/QUOTE]
     
  9. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    6,096
    Male
    Bristol
    My partner has vascular dementia too, and she has had one known TIA in the last 3 years, I saw her face fall and heard her speech worsen temporarily. There were a couple of times she has shown similar symptoms without anyone every confirming it, and of course by the time the patient gets to hospital a scan won't show anything. That was what they told me, and it does leave you wondering a bit though. Normally, at least in our experience, those temporary ward transfers only last a day, and they are frustrating.
    I hope you get something from the doctor once the urine sample is in.
     
  10. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    [/QUOTE]

    Having been through a similar scenario with Mum recently in hospital, I just wanted to say keep asking questions. It’s your Dads best interests you have at heart.
    Keep us updated on how you get on
    (((Hugs)))
     
  11. Jo108

    Jo108 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2019
    14
    Hey as it stands I think dad is there for abit longer waiting to find an spot purchase bed??? The main worry is he’s not eating or drinking about 4/5 days... it’s like he’s forgotten what to do or his mouth is sore and dry?? Still no result from urine sample even though they test it on site!! And he was unsettled yesterday so the doctor gave him a sedative. ☹️
    Having been through a similar scenario with Mum recently in hospital, I just wanted to say keep asking questions. It’s your Dads best interests you have at heart.
    Keep us updated on how you get on
    (((Hugs)))[/QUOTE]
     
  12. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    1,354
    As your Dad was admitted due to aggression, but has not been aggressive since admission, is it possible that he is being given a sedative regularly? When my Mum was in hospital communication was very poor and the family were kept in the dark about the medication she was being given and the fact that she had contracted 2 serious hospital infections. She was given pain relief which over sedated her and left her unable to eat, drink or mobilise resulting in significant weight loss. It looked like she was dying but as soon as the medication was changed to something else (at our insistence) she returned to her usual self and was eating and drinking well and able to mobilise again.

    I'd try to speak to the consultant if you can to raise your concerns about your Dad's condition and to check whether he is being given any medication that may be causing his inability to eat, drink and mobilise. They should certainly be conducting investigations into this sudden change since admission, not just assuming that it is down to dementia. If you can, take a look at the medication chart next time you visit to see what is being given. Unfortunately you need to keep asking questions yourself as you can't rely on staff to let you know what's going on. I'm sure that it's not the same in all hospitals but it did seem that Mum was being kept over sedated as it was easier for the staff rather than because it was beneficial to Mum.
     
  13. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,900
    [/QUOTE]

    Thank you I’ve told OH I’m exhausted mentally & emotionally & need a geriatric free day!
    So he’s going to pop in to both homes! Yep on his own! Reality check & outside his comfyzone! Daughter away for 36 hours & backing me up!

    Just so hurt at being called a liar by someone who left my Dad in pain & sat in his own poop!
    Really!!!!

    Ah well time to breathe..... must wash stinky dog! That’s not good......
     

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