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Is mum dying?


Registered User
Mar 17, 2009
I'm not sure whether my mum is dying or if she will pick up.
My mum 89, has dementia for 5 years and was admitted to hospital 10 weeks ago with pancreatitis - that cleared up after 3 weeks then mum got several infections and a almost 2 weeks ago she got shingles!! She has complex needs: macular degeneration, mobility problems, incontinence, kidney damage, etc. Mum is still in hospital and since being in hospital she can't seem to weight bear and is generally weak and she has definitely deteriorated

In the past week or so she's been very tired, sleeping a lot, not wanting to eat or drink. She can't seem to articulate her thoughts and gets very confused and can't seem to understand anything we say to her - just looks vacant and muddled, even when I mention family names she seem lost. Mums speech has become garbled and her voice is weaker. Today she was sleeping so soundly I couldn't wake her. She looks worn out. The staff say she doesn't want to do anything at all
Mum has had a very tough time with the shingles, the antiviral medication made her sick : 800mg 5 times a day for a week. The doctor asked about me about DNR which I agreed to. She's not on antivirals now but I'm wondering if this is the after effects of them plus the trauma to her body of the shingles. Will she pick up or is this a decline towards her dying? I don't know ....


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
I am so sorry to read what is happing to your mother .

I can imagine how emotional it must feel for you seeing your mother like this .

I Don't think anyone can answer your question if your mother is dying, as we are not doctors.

I sigh the DNR Paperwork for my mother, but then my mother also had cancer .

Doctors did not even know when .

Never know whats around the corner

wishing your mum all the best xx


Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
Hi Nellen
No one can answer the question "is she dying" we all are and we go when it's our time.
My mother died at 89 (she lived with us), Christmas day we all had dinner, all perfectly fine bit scatty but it was a good day, she eat the whole lot. 2am on new year's eve (less than 7 days later) after 2 days in hospital she died, who knows how it work?
Hopefully her body will fight it and you'll get her back but for now all you can do is be there for her. Talk to her, touch her, just be there for her in spite of her lack of response some of it will get through, that and hope.