Is it unreasonable...

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by optocarol, Nov 24, 2015.

  1. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    to expect at least one of my stepchildren (all upwards of 40) to tell me my OH had been missing for a while on Saturday? I was on the last day of my 4 away, got home about 3, so it obviously was not long before. He was fine when I got home and I only heard about it from step-granddaughter yesterday. I can't understand why they didn't, surely they would want to be if it were them?!

    Just need some reassurance here, I guess.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,894
    Kent
    It sounds quite considerate to me Carol, if I read it correctly.

    You couldn`t do anything while you were away and they allowed you to settle in at home before breaking the news.
     
  3. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    What you don't know you don't have to worry about, your family were very considerate ☺
     
  4. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    From my point of view, I was only away 4 days and I don't need 3 days to settle in. Good to have your perspective though. Thanks.
     
  5. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    539
    Female
    Shropshire
    I agree with the others. I assume your granddaughter just told you in passing and maybe it would have been better coming as a considered conversation with one of his children,if they were going to tell you.. But they maybe thought it best you didn't know. There was nothing you could have done and all was well. Don't let it stop you going away again. Great that they will take responsibility to allow you the break
     
  6. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,684
    North West
    I can see where you're coming from Carol but also that the situation can be interpreted differently. I think I would want to be told as soon as I returned, and not in such a casual way. Maybe they found it difficult to tell you because they felt a degree of guilt?
     

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