1. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #21 Margarita, Aug 31, 2006
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2006
    If you rang the emergency duty social worker stressing how bad your dad was and how much you mum needs respite Now they could put your dad in emergency respite . when you phone them and they say she not there till next week say you need to talk to the duty social worker NOW stress to them how your mum not coping with your dad that the situation has just got out of control with your dad lay it on it’s the truth anyway .

    ( PS get your mother on your side about respite so she can also talk to them also when in emergency respite they can do an assessment on your dad on his needs to go back home or go in care home its all up to your mother in where she wants him cared for, they can't take that away from her while he in emergency respite )

    I can understand where your mother coming from in not wanting her husband to go in to care, if you could get SS to put your dad in a respite, then your mum could talk to SS to see what option are open to her to get carer in to help her, if she does not get carer in to help her she going to have to put your dad in a care home.

    (I am in that situation now with my mum I know that mum would be better of in care home, but they take her of her medication and she drop), mum on a level with the medication ,just me getting depress about it all. Am going on a respite soon .see if I can make my mind up then .

    When if your dad goes in to respite you can all as a family talk about your father future

    It is easy for us all to say that yes, it’s the right time for your dad to be in a care home, but it’s your mum that has to see that, maybe with respite she can clear her mind and make a decision.

    I went to see my mum doctor yesterday he has done a referral so mum can see the older people physiologist then see what they say about care home and what mum score on the memory test .

    When was the last time your dad went to see older people physiologist
     
  2. intensityp

    intensityp Registered User

    Aug 16, 2006
    24
    Margarita and all

    My dad last saw an "ologist" in hospital in February this year...yesterday my mum was considering looking at care homes...today she got more incontinence pants and he was in a "loving mood"..meaning that today..when she locked the doors , that he would not try to shake them open and he liked to tell everyone that he loved them....so now she will wait awhile....I can do no more but go around in a constant circle of misplaced hope and sleepless nights
     
  3. intensityp

    intensityp Registered User

    Aug 16, 2006
    24
    my dad

    my last post sounded so harsh! My dad was the most kindest funniest and loving man, he worked long hours but when he was with us he was electric and full of mischief and above all he was our dad...our dad who used to embarress us when he skipped down the street when we were so cool aged 9 ( we skipped when no one could see)..my dad teaching me to do a ..one two dance at my wedding and him crying that night at the thought of losing me ( he never did)... my dad the handsome..( he could never pass a mirror without telling himself how handsome he was...he was right)....my dad ....my dad!

    That was my dad and still somewhere in my mind will always be my dad...not now...not this
     
  4. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    It's OK, we understand.
    <<<HUG>>>
    Love Helen
     

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