You know your father best
Someone who comes to see your dad for a short time every now and then will not know your dad as well as you and your family. I felt quite annoyed on your behalf when I read the community nurse comments. It's a good sign that you're feeling guilty - if you could put your dad into a home without any guilt then there would be something to worry about.
There was a BBC series last year (called Protecting our Parents I think) that was interesting. Most people are frightened of going into a care home - let's face it, the press are only interested in the horror stories, not the happy ones. But many of the elderly featured were so lonely in their own homes and often unsafe. One lady rang for an ambulance several times a day because she was bedridden and wanted to be moved but her husband couldn't do it. When admitted to hospital she was given tests and the specialist consultant said she should not be at home, one reason being that her reasoning skills were poor. The lady didn't realise she was phoning the ambulance so often. However when the social worker came in and asked her if she would be phoning the ambulance all the time if she went home the lady said no she wouldn't, so social worker overruled the expert and said she was OK to go home. As soon as she was at home the lady immediately started phoning for an ambulance again - what a surprise!!!!!!
You and your family know your dad best. You will definitely get to a point where there is no choice and it sounds like if you're not there already, you will soon be. Definitely visit care homes. Get as much info on them as you can from the CQC website but you can't beat an actual visit. Just turn up - don't make an appointment - but to be nice, avoid mealtimes when their staff will be extra busy.
Good luck.
Someone who comes to see your dad for a short time every now and then will not know your dad as well as you and your family. I felt quite annoyed on your behalf when I read the community nurse comments. It's a good sign that you're feeling guilty - if you could put your dad into a home without any guilt then there would be something to worry about.
There was a BBC series last year (called Protecting our Parents I think) that was interesting. Most people are frightened of going into a care home - let's face it, the press are only interested in the horror stories, not the happy ones. But many of the elderly featured were so lonely in their own homes and often unsafe. One lady rang for an ambulance several times a day because she was bedridden and wanted to be moved but her husband couldn't do it. When admitted to hospital she was given tests and the specialist consultant said she should not be at home, one reason being that her reasoning skills were poor. The lady didn't realise she was phoning the ambulance so often. However when the social worker came in and asked her if she would be phoning the ambulance all the time if she went home the lady said no she wouldn't, so social worker overruled the expert and said she was OK to go home. As soon as she was at home the lady immediately started phoning for an ambulance again - what a surprise!!!!!!
You and your family know your dad best. You will definitely get to a point where there is no choice and it sounds like if you're not there already, you will soon be. Definitely visit care homes. Get as much info on them as you can from the CQC website but you can't beat an actual visit. Just turn up - don't make an appointment - but to be nice, avoid mealtimes when their staff will be extra busy.
Good luck.