Hi
It’s my first post so I'll say "hello" to all.
I've had a look round the forum and am sort of (sadly) warmed that there are others as well as myself going through the heart wrenching process of trying to make the "right" decisions for family and loved ones. I try to be objective....
Dad is in his late 70's and has, over the past months rapidly deteriorated from occasional forgetfulness to somewhere between stages 5&6. He now sometimes gets very aggressive, but never violent towards his long-standing partner. I don't think he recognises me now without prompting and almost certainly does not recognise my brothers. He has, however started to get very abusive towards anyone he believes to be a stranger including his grandchildren and extended family. He gets very stressed, angry and wound up with this. He recently had to attend an overnight hospital appointment for tests under general anaesthetic that he found very stressful to the point that as soon as he came round from the general he ripped out his drips and monitors and became violent towards the hospital staff believing to have been "butchered" and "assaulted". It was devastating for his partner to see him being physically restrained. He has no recollection of the visit and has forgotten all about the reason for the tests.
It now transpires that he has a large growth in one of his kidneys. There is a very good prospect of a full recovery if the kidney is removed. The consultant has, however, brought to our attention that there may be a good argument for not undertaking the operation as the risks associated with the upset it is likely to cause could outweigh the benefits and put at risk the operation itself. He feels that the operation would benefit dad's physical health in the long run. For the operation to be successful, it would have to be undertaken in the next 2 weeks.
There are far too many other factors to mention here, but the overwhelming dilemma is what is going to give the best prospects for achieving the best quality of life for dad? Is the 2 weeks he and his partner are going to suffer now recovering from the operation better than the cancer he may have to suffer in what we think will be 2 to 3 years.
It would be really helpful to read the experiences or views of others and I would be grateful for any comments.
Thanks
It’s my first post so I'll say "hello" to all.
I've had a look round the forum and am sort of (sadly) warmed that there are others as well as myself going through the heart wrenching process of trying to make the "right" decisions for family and loved ones. I try to be objective....
Dad is in his late 70's and has, over the past months rapidly deteriorated from occasional forgetfulness to somewhere between stages 5&6. He now sometimes gets very aggressive, but never violent towards his long-standing partner. I don't think he recognises me now without prompting and almost certainly does not recognise my brothers. He has, however started to get very abusive towards anyone he believes to be a stranger including his grandchildren and extended family. He gets very stressed, angry and wound up with this. He recently had to attend an overnight hospital appointment for tests under general anaesthetic that he found very stressful to the point that as soon as he came round from the general he ripped out his drips and monitors and became violent towards the hospital staff believing to have been "butchered" and "assaulted". It was devastating for his partner to see him being physically restrained. He has no recollection of the visit and has forgotten all about the reason for the tests.
It now transpires that he has a large growth in one of his kidneys. There is a very good prospect of a full recovery if the kidney is removed. The consultant has, however, brought to our attention that there may be a good argument for not undertaking the operation as the risks associated with the upset it is likely to cause could outweigh the benefits and put at risk the operation itself. He feels that the operation would benefit dad's physical health in the long run. For the operation to be successful, it would have to be undertaken in the next 2 weeks.
There are far too many other factors to mention here, but the overwhelming dilemma is what is going to give the best prospects for achieving the best quality of life for dad? Is the 2 weeks he and his partner are going to suffer now recovering from the operation better than the cancer he may have to suffer in what we think will be 2 to 3 years.
It would be really helpful to read the experiences or views of others and I would be grateful for any comments.
Thanks