I am 85 and sole carer for my husband, 91 who has VD. His main problem is loss of memory, both long and short-term. He sleeps and eats well, isn't agressive and was incontinent on just 2 occasions last year. So far, so good.
Although our family live close by and in normal times visit and offer help, I am very independent and aware of their own ages and health issues and limitations.
Life is lonely at times, my OH is no longer the man I've spent my life with, but more like an adult toddler. I'm coping so far but realise we are both getting older and frailer.
Last week I had to call 999 after my blood pressure spiked to the critical stage and I was at risk of stroke. Luckily I wasn't taken to hospital but 18 months ago I was in hospital for 4 days. During that time my family cared for their dad but he was so restless and anxious about me and they realised how much he depends on me.
They are now worried about me having sole care of him if I'm unwell and they feel I should have outside help. But he doesn't need help with washing or dressing or eating and I don't feel the time is right yet for me to have carers etc. He gets very anxious around people he doesn't know. I have cleaners but obviously not during the lockdown.
After my last spell in hospital I contacted Care Agencies to ask if they would be able to step in, just for a few days in the event of an emergency with my health. Understandably they said they don't have enough staff to be on stand by and I would have to agree to a full care package.
My family say If I got some respite from caring I would be able to life my own life and do the things I enjoy. They don't understand that at 85 I no longer have the energy to do the things I used to do. I just enjoy a nice quiet life.
Can any of you kind souls offer advice? It would kill my OH to be suddenly placed in a home while he is still aware - up to a point. Does anybody else have experience with arranging emergency care?
Thanks a million
Although our family live close by and in normal times visit and offer help, I am very independent and aware of their own ages and health issues and limitations.
Life is lonely at times, my OH is no longer the man I've spent my life with, but more like an adult toddler. I'm coping so far but realise we are both getting older and frailer.
Last week I had to call 999 after my blood pressure spiked to the critical stage and I was at risk of stroke. Luckily I wasn't taken to hospital but 18 months ago I was in hospital for 4 days. During that time my family cared for their dad but he was so restless and anxious about me and they realised how much he depends on me.
They are now worried about me having sole care of him if I'm unwell and they feel I should have outside help. But he doesn't need help with washing or dressing or eating and I don't feel the time is right yet for me to have carers etc. He gets very anxious around people he doesn't know. I have cleaners but obviously not during the lockdown.
After my last spell in hospital I contacted Care Agencies to ask if they would be able to step in, just for a few days in the event of an emergency with my health. Understandably they said they don't have enough staff to be on stand by and I would have to agree to a full care package.
My family say If I got some respite from caring I would be able to life my own life and do the things I enjoy. They don't understand that at 85 I no longer have the energy to do the things I used to do. I just enjoy a nice quiet life.
Can any of you kind souls offer advice? It would kill my OH to be suddenly placed in a home while he is still aware - up to a point. Does anybody else have experience with arranging emergency care?
Thanks a million