Is it just mild cognitive impairment?

[Misty1001]

Hi All

Mum was recently diagnosed after assessment and CT scan - mild cognitive impairment - after we noticed short term memory loss and sporadic episodes of paranoia - allegations we were moving things/hiding&stealing. Over the past month she is experiencing daily auditory hallucinations hearing noises - thinks neighbour get in her loft to mess with her water and heating - heres them talking and climbing onto her roof - it is very distressing for her - today her bedroom door jammed and we couldn't get in to let her out (unbeknown to us had all her locks changed) so she had thrown her door key out of window managed to get in and let her out. Dont seem to be getting anywhere with gp or memory clinic due to her still functioning daily tasks and driving and denying there is any issue. Advice from memory clinic was to get in touch if she stops tidying her house or washing! Any advice would be welcomed…thank you

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @Misty1001 and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. I think it might be worth getting your mum checked over to see if she has a urinary tract or chest infection as they are the sort of things that can play havoc with older people's cognitive abilities. I also think it is worth getting back to the memory clinic as those sort of symptoms sound like they need investigating, they sound very typical of mid-stage dementia, though as I said it could be an infection.
My mum started having similar delusions and became very aggressive with the neighbours that she thought were stealing from her. She too had the locks changed and then invented amazing reasons as to how they still managed to get in. At the time her memory was still pretty good, it was although her logic boxes had become fried.
If you haven't already sorted out Lasting Power of Attorney it would be worth persuading your mum to allow you to set this up, as it will make things easier in the long run. It might also be an idea to try and introduce some help, Age UK have a Help at Home service. They don't do personal care, but could help your mum with housework, shopping or just a bit of companionship. It would also get her used to the idea of helpers coming for if she needs more care later. Mind you, mum refused any help at home point blank and in the end I moved her into care when her behaviour started putting herself at risk.

 

[Misty1001]

Thank you so much for your reply @Sarasa for your reply - sounds very similar to your mum - refuses to acknowledge there is an issue gets really agitated - despite calling police three times and refusing any suggestion of additional support. After a lot of convincing mum spoken to solicitor over the phone but was very rude with the lady and said she would think about power of attorney but Im not hopeful. May I ask what your mums diagnosis is and what risks led to care home - I feel like we are just having to wait for a crisis to happen before we have to do something further and I really worry what that will be

 

[Sarasa]

My mum has a diagnosis of 'probable vascular dementia'. Mum refused to engage with the memory clinic and was diagnosed after she had a meltdown in the doctor's surgery, throwing medication around and accusing them of poisoning her. They got a psychiatrist to visit her at home which was when we got the diagnosis. An earlier scan had talked about 'normal signs of aging', but mum's behaviour was far from normal by then.
I moved her into care, because not only was she accusing the neighbours of all sorts and calling the police on them, her behaviour was upsetting some of her other neighbours too. The final straw was when she went to local pub and started drinking and chatting up some of the men there. She bought at least one of them home. No harm was done, but I didn't think she'd be so lucky if she carried on doing things like that.
As for getting POA, I was lucky as a good friend of mum's told her it was a good idea even before I raised the idea. Does your mum have any friend's you can get on board?
I know what you mean about waiting for the crisis. My husband felt I should have waited until one happened before I moved mum into care, but I really didn't want her robbed, raped or knocked over by a car, all things that seemed like a possibility at the time.

 

[Misty1001]

Yes she does I have asked them talk to her about it but she is so suspicious and tbh I think frightened all logic has gone and is like two different people she presents to others as fine which is very confusing - sound like you certainly did the right thing to protect your mum and Im sure that was difficult bit you probably saved her from harm making the move - I have researched all kinds of things and I suspect Lewy Bodies looking for answers and to educate myself but there seems to be no one case/stage the same for anyone its mind boggling

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Your mum's behaviour is not simply MCI. Her issues are no longer 'mild' as far as I can see.

Some people with MCI actually remain that way (or pretty much) but many others do progress to full blown dementia and it looks like your mum is in the latter group. I think you need to persist with the GP and/or memory clinic.

I'd also be very concerned about her driving.

 

[Misty1001]

Thank you for your message @Jaded'n'faded I am going to try again tomorrow but not sure what to insist that they do - tbh I thought the police/gp or memory would have mentioned her driving capabilities I mentioned it again to gp but didnt seem interested as when she saw him he seem she presented well to him

 

[silkiest]

Hi @Misty1001, you do not need a solicitor to do Power of Attorney. Go online at https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney and fill in the documents as far as you can then print it ready for her and the attorneys and witnesses to sign. I think the thing here is persistence, get her friends on board to agree to act as certificate holders and have the document ready and waiting for a good day when she is calmer and agrees. You need both finance and health - GP's etc have to talk to you if you have it - without it comes down to patient confidentiality and they can only listen and not discuss.
She does not have to understand all the ins and outs only that if she needs help with finance and talking to the GP you will be able to help her. Register it at the same time so then even if she i capable of sorting some things out you can help her if needed. With my mum it has been a slow process of taking on more and more over the last 3 years - initially when she asked and now acting in her best interests.
Have you found your mum is worse as the day goes on - this is called sundowning and it is better to talk to her in the mornings when she is more alert.

 

[Misty1001]

Hi @silkiest thanks for your message - we get calls through day to go round but she does seem to worsen on night or if she has a nap and wakes up through the day. Thank you for advicw re POA - I have discussed with a solicitor and quoted £750 so will definitely look into doing myself - however mam will not entertain it whenever I ask morning or night she just say she will think about it

 

[canary]

Hi @Misty1001 . My mum wouldnt entertain POA either. She allowed me to be third party on her bank accounts, but no POA. I eventually had to apply for deputyship, which was OK and allowed me to sort out her finances (especially once she moved to a care home), but POA would have been better.

 

[Misty1001]

Thank you - hope it doesnt come to that - how did obtaining deputyship go?

 

[canary]

Thank you - hope it doesnt come to that - how did obtaining deputyship go?

The forms took a bit of working out and there was a lot of paper shuffling but it was do-able. It took over 6 months to get through the court, but I gather that you can ask for it to be fast=tracked if urgent.
The hardest bit was filling in the annual financial report, but it was only once a year and there were never any queries about it.
The point is, thought, that I didnt have a choice. By the time that I realised that Mum had dementia and I would need POA she was too suspicious to allow it - and then she lost capacity.

 

[Misty1001]

Yeah I suspect I may be too late - thank you for message