Is it called Sod's Law?

[maryjoan]

Oh, just reading through some of your posts - how heart wrenching all this is, so many people, struggling beyond what we are capable of.

I just thought I would give you a bit of an update...

My OH has left me completely. He has settled in his new home and is very happy, but the dementia means that I am nothing to him. It happens to so many of us, I know.

Some of you will know how hard I fought to get this resolution for both him and me. I actually thought we would have conversations on the phone or emails and keep in touch - but nothing, I cannot draw him into a conversation - but I am accepting that and am more at peace with myself and sleeping much better.

Then there is the Eviction Notice

I have spent the last 7 weeks scouring the rental market, both private and social - and there is nothing - I have not even been able to view anything, because I simply cannot afford the inflated rates that the current boom has brought about. Locally there are 19,000 on the social housing list........

What I think is Sod's Law is that if my erstwhile other half was still living with me - we COULD afford the private housing market. But on my own, I cannot.

So, by gaining peace and harmony for both him and me - I have shot myself in the foot and feel that under the current market situations, the Landlord will be taking me to court in the autumn to enforce the eviction. I have been told that, again, because of the current situations no Court in the land will send the Bailiffs because I am still paying my rent and actively looking for somewhere. But it is a very unsettling situation.

Even the Landlord's Agent told me it was a 'Perfect Storm.'

 

[None the Wiser]

Oh @maryjoan I really feel for you, and wish I could offer a solution. It’s hard enough having your loved one go into a home without facing loosing your own home. How unfair life is. I do hope something turns up for you. We all deserve a safe roof over our heads, warmth, food and some peace. I’ll be thinking of you.

 

[DennyD]

@maryjoan So sorry to hear about your situation. It feels impossible. You've given so much of yourself to now keep going and find the energy to yet work your way through another battle must be exhausting and draining (even though you say you are sleeping). Surely you cannot be left without housing, the authorities cannot just leave you? You've dedicated much of yourself to look after someone very vulnerable, who is there to help and support you? I don't know what to say, please keep going, you've come across as an inventive and intelligent person. I hope you'll find a way soon.

 

[JaxG]

Oh, just reading through some of your posts - how heart wrenching all this is, so many people, struggling beyond what we are capable of.

I just thought I would give you a bit of an update...

My OH has left me completely. He has settled in his new home and is very happy, but the dementia means that I am nothing to him. It happens to so many of us, I know.

Some of you will know how hard I fought to get this resolution for both him and me. I actually thought we would have conversations on the phone or emails and keep in touch - but nothing, I cannot draw him into a conversation - but I am accepting that and am more at peace with myself and sleeping much better.

Then there is the Eviction Notice

I have spent the last 7 weeks scouring the rental market, both private and social - and there is nothing - I have not even been able to view anything, because I simply cannot afford the inflated rates that the current boom has brought about. Locally there are 19,000 on the social housing list........

What I think is Sod's Law is that if my erstwhile other half was still living with me - we COULD afford the private housing market. But on my own, I cannot.

So, by gaining peace and harmony for both him and me - I have shot myself in the foot and feel that under the current market situations, the Landlord will be taking me to court in the autumn to enforce the eviction. I have been told that, again, because of the current situations no Court in the land will send the Bailiffs because I am still paying my rent and actively looking for somewhere. But it is a very unsettling situation.

Even the Landlord's Agent told me it was a 'Perfect Storm.'

 

[AwayWithTheFairies]

Maybe you could consider moving to a cheaper area, If there is one, if OH is settled where he is? Make a fresh start? Just a gentle suggestion.

 

[Susan11]

Oh, just reading through some of your posts - how heart wrenching all this is, so many people, struggling beyond what we are capable of.

I just thought I would give you a bit of an update...

My OH has left me completely. He has settled in his new home and is very happy, but the dementia means that I am nothing to him. It happens to so many of us, I know.

Some of you will know how hard I fought to get this resolution for both him and me. I actually thought we would have conversations on the phone or emails and keep in touch - but nothing, I cannot draw him into a conversation - but I am accepting that and am more at peace with myself and sleeping much better.

Then there is the Eviction Notice

I have spent the last 7 weeks scouring the rental market, both private and social - and there is nothing - I have not even been able to view anything, because I simply cannot afford the inflated rates that the current boom has brought about. Locally there are 19,000 on the social housing list........

What I think is Sod's Law is that if my erstwhile other half was still living with me - we COULD afford the private housing market. But on my own, I cannot.

So, by gaining peace and harmony for both him and me - I have shot myself in the foot and feel that under the current market situations, the Landlord will be taking me to court in the autumn to enforce the eviction. I have been told that, again, because of the current situations no Court in the land will send the Bailiffs because I am still paying my rent and actively looking for somewhere. But it is a very unsettling situation.

Even the Landlord's Agent told me it was a 'Perfect Storm.'

 

[Susan11]

Just a thought...have you investigated whether you're entitled to any of your husband's pension .

 

[maryjoan]

Maybe you could consider moving to a cheaper area, If there is one, if OH is settled where he is? Make a fresh start? Just a gentle suggestion.

Yes, I have thought about this - looked up north where I am from - but my daughter and grand children are a big pull down here.... have to get my head around that one.... it's hard.

 

[maryjoan]

Just a thought...have you investigated whether you're entitled to any of your husband's pension .

Thanks Susan - my OH and I were never married, only known him 10 years........

 

[nita]

I don't know much about current benefits - I know they have been curtailed or limited to a certain amount - but aren't you entitled to housing benefit or universal credit - they can't leave you with nothing.

 

[DianeW]

I am sorry that it’s proving difficult finding somewhere to move to.

There maybe 19.000 on the waiting list but not all of them will have any housing need, some people just want to move, or register and then find their own accommodation but remain registered, but they don’t need to move like you do......

So due to your eviction notice you will have a housing need and be given a higher priority.......still be a lot of demand from people in housing need, but certainly not 19.000.

I would advise you to keep speaking with the housing providers and homeless and housing options team, the trouble is the demand far outweighs availability, which means allocation has to be made to those in the most need.

Wishing you well and good luck with finding a new home.

 

[PalSal]

Oh, just reading through some of your posts - how heart wrenching all this is, so many people, struggling beyond what we are capable of.

I just thought I would give you a bit of an update...

My OH has left me completely. He has settled in his new home and is very happy, but the dementia means that I am nothing to him. It happens to so many of us, I know.

Some of you will know how hard I fought to get this resolution for both him and me. I actually thought we would have conversations on the phone or emails and keep in touch - but nothing, I cannot draw him into a conversation - but I am accepting that and am more at peace with myself and sleeping much better.

Then there is the Eviction Notice

I have spent the last 7 weeks scouring the rental market, both private and social - and there is nothing - I have not even been able to view anything, because I simply cannot afford the inflated rates that the current boom has brought about. Locally there are 19,000 on the social housing list........

What I think is Sod's Law is that if my erstwhile other half was still living with me - we COULD afford the private housing market. But on my own, I cannot.

So, by gaining peace and harmony for both him and me - I have shot myself in the foot and feel that under the current market situations, the Landlord will be taking me to court in the autumn to enforce the eviction. I have been told that, again, because of the current situations no Court in the land will send the Bailiffs because I am still paying my rent and actively looking for somewhere. But it is a very unsettling situation.

Even the Landlord's Agent told me it was a 'Perfect Storm.'

What a dilemma. Stay strong and persistent. I am glad your partner settled well, that is at least a blessing. Mine just retreated beyond the beyond and all my fantasies of taking him out for chores and coffees and walks were unrealized-as he struggled to confirm to institutuionalized living which took what little was left of him. I pray you will find a place to lay your head and settle - you need some rest and recuperation .