• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Is it all out of my hands?


Registered User
Jul 14, 2010
Ok so.... Mums carer decided she couldn't continue and gave 1 days notice ,the social worker then decided it was time for mum to go into a home. mum has since been in a home since December and it's been awful. We always knew it was going to be tough but she's like a different person now. She has been so angry which we expected but so distressed, she hardly sleeps and basically is a stranger.
The home have requested 2 mental health assessments and at the last one over a month ago they switched her to nursing emi, increased the respiridone and agreed to apply for one to one care for her. within the last couple of weeks both myself and my brother have commented on how we have found mum a lot more chilled out, no more angry eyes and short words. On Saturday mum was smiling and asking me what I've been doing instead of the accusations of not loving her and keeping her locked away.
I've just had a call from mums cpn to say that mum is very unwell and it's time for her to be taken away to the mental health hospital for 24/7 care. Aparently mum is being so distressed and hearing voices saying they want to kill her, she said she was psychotic .

I'm so confused with the whole thing, I've had phone calls about deprivation of liberty (does that just mean that the home can keep mum there against her will?) And calls about signing forms regards to mums finances. I've not had a call from social worker about CHC assessment so doubt very much one has been done.The care home have told me nothing about voices, when I've mentioned that mum seemed much calmer they simply state that she wasn't earlier as she was trying to escape through a window or she was kicking the door trying to get out.
The cpn says with the 24/7 care they will assess mum and get her medication right so she isn't so distressed. That's what I want isn't it? So why am I so upset?
The mental health assessment is taking place on Friday, the local gp has already stated he wants to increase the respiridone but the consultant thinks the 24/7 assessment is better in the long run.
My brother and I didnt want mum to go into a care home as we thought it wasn't right for her. Since she's been there we have a complete stranger instead of our mum
I just wish I knew the answers because I just don't know who to trust to do the right thing for my mum.

Emily M

Registered User
Jan 20, 2015
This is like looking into a crystal ball

Hi yorshirerosie

I say this is like looking into a crystal ball because my mother has just been assessed to go into a home and I can foresee just the same problems that you have. I have only just posted on this particular subject on this site requesting other people to share their experiences and am waiting for replies.

My step father has found it increasingly difficult to cope with my mother's incontinence and IBS and it has become an extreme health hazard as she is constantly trying to "sort herself out" with the inevitable consequences all over the house. It was considered that extra help would not be enough and this is the main reason for her going into care. None of us wanted my mum to go into a home but agree that it is in her best interests so she will get the care and dignity she deserves.

Risperidone is a mixed blessing. My mum was put on it because of aggression and it does help, but too much and she becomes like a zombie. Her physical and metal condition have deteriorated since being on it and the incontinence is considerably worse. How much is this due to the medicine or the disease? Who knows.

I have been discussing things with the social worker today and deprivation of liberty was mentioned. You might find the link below useful. The first paragraph goes a long way to explaining it. It is there to ensure that someone is only deprived of their liberty in a way that is in their best interests:-


My mother will be going straight into an EMI home and I can imagine that she will be kicking the door and trying to get out of the window and it worries me. I am absolutely dreading it. If that happens the Risperidone will be increased and she will become more distant and zombie-like.

It is difficult to know who to trust but I think most carers will have your mum's best interest at heart. Ask the social worker and others if you don't understand any aspects of her care and question people if there are things you are unhappy with.

Best wishes.