1. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    my partner is only 67 but i have spent the last 4 years watching him change his short term memory is very poor same old questions again and again and yet can remember his childhood so apathetic does nothing but crosswords all day goes to bed every day for a sleep no interest in anything other than doing the same walk around the block every single day sometimes twice he looks so vague even if i show i am sad or upset he says nothing i am going mad trying to work it all out. I know he will not go to doctor and too scared to mention it and force him in case they say there is not a problem !!! has any one felt like this
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    Make a move

    You cannot move forward or do him any good until you make an appointment with his GP and have them give him a checkup. Mention to him that there are drugs nowadays which can help slow down memory loss and he might be keener to go. If you do nothing then nothing will be done to help either of you.
  3. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    North Manchester
    Try talking to his GP, they should listen to you even if they can't discuss anything because of patient confidentially, but they do have a duty of care to their patient.

    Tell the GP your concerns and see if (s)he will agree to ask your partner in for a 'well man' check - height,weight,blood tests,life style - the blood tests will rule out several possible causes of memory problems. The tests could be a new government initiative, it might even mean that you are also asked to attend for a 'well woman' check.

    It all depends on the GP's attitude.
  4. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    I'm sure other members have been in a similar position and will be along to support you. I agree that somehow or other you have to get the GP involved.

    It would be a good idea to write down the concerns you have mentioned, and any others, so that you give as full a picture as possible.

    Perhaps you should get an appointment for yourself - you are under considerable stress - and then you can tell the GP exactly what the problems are and how they are affecting you.
  5. rea123

    rea123 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    please dnt give in... go see the doctor....our doctor also said it wsnt anything to worry about it was down to depression...weve been married over 30yrs it wsnt depression there was much more going off.... the children went to see the doctor... was told the same, it wsnt until i becME ILL MYSLEF AND BROKE DOWN IN THE SURGERY REGARDING THIS THAT SOMETHING IS FINALLY BEING DONE...weve been thro all the tests and awainting a consultation on the 8th april...you know yr husband better than anyone else..go and make an appointment and dnt be fobbed off... get the ball rolling if only to put your mind at ease
  6. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    Thank you i know it will be very difficult to get him to agree to a doctor and i am so scared that i am wrong and then what ??? i know i need to man up and face it but just keep thinking give it a bit longer i need to get a grip
  7. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    There are very many of us on TP who have been in your current position but you need to help your partner begin the diagnostic process.

    Firstly, it may be any one of a number of health issues - depression, vitamin B deficiency etc. that could be treated successfully and the sooner he gets sorted the better for both of you.

    It took me 3 years to get a diagnosis for my OH and my biggest support was our GP. I visited him on my own and expressed my concerns about my OH and we worked out a strategy to finally get him properly assessed, knowing that it would be a slow and lengthy process.

    OH was in total denial and while he resisted much of our efforts, we finally got there.

    I would suggest that you keep a record of things that happen and incidents that are causing you concern and take that to your doctor. This consultation need not necessarily take the form of a discussion but you could take the approach that you are keeping him informed about your partner's current state of health.

    You wil need patience, loads of it and I wish you well for what lies ahead.
  8. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    thank you i am realising i need to talk to doctor for my sake as well as his as feel as though i am slipping down in my mood and as i have children to care for i need to be able to keep smiling it is nice that you understood

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