I am 74 and a Carer for my Husband (77)who is in the later stages of Dementia. He no longer knows my name, he can't speak only to say yes or no, but not necessarily the right answer, he can't find his way around the house, so I can't leave him in a room on his own very long, as I have to direct him to the toilet, and then have to try to get him to take his trousers and pants down and help him decide whether he needs to sit down or stand up. If I don't he will pee in the wash basin or the bath, anything white or stainless steel in the kitchen, I do sometimes, in the evening, end up going to sleep after only having 3/4 hours a night of sleep, the night before. He can walk, but very slowly, and can't understand the need to distance from other people when we are out. I haven't been out for 2 weeks now and have relied on others to get my shopping as I can't get a slot online for delivery or click and collect. On top of this my Sister 79, who supports me, has been recently diagnosed with blood cancer, her Husband 77 has MS and is unable to walk, they are not very good on the computer. I hoped I would be able to order groceries etc for all of us, they only live across the road, but this just doesn't seem possible, when I went on to the GOV website to register as vulnerable for priority slots of delivery or click and collect, they say I do not qualify. It is all so frustrating. I do not have any Carers for my Husband so do everything myself for how long I do not know.I'd say in terms of vulnerable as in people who should isolate as more at risk of being seriously ill if they catch virus then dementia probably doesn't make you more likely to be seriously ill like diseases that weaken the immune system or breathing capabilities would. I do think some people with dementia might be less likely to be able to process and remember the advice about social distancing, handwashing etc so may if out and about be more at risk of catching it or spreading it. In case of other people being allowed to go out in public if caring for a vulnerable person, then I think going out to care for a person with dementia should be included in that. I'd class my mum as vulnerable as without me going to see each day she wouldn't take her medication or eat a hot meal as she cant cook now. Also some days she cant figure out how to work tv or heating so could be sat there cold and hungry without help. She also can't cope with being on her own all day so I still go to see her each day and if I was asked why I was out thats what I'd say is the reason why.
@Jan L Thats so unfair, I don't think the goverment really understand what caring for a person with dementia involves. Would your sister or her husband be classed as vulnerable on the gov website? have you tried registering your sister or her husband as the vulnerable person for a priority slot and you order on all your behalves?
Hello Annielou, thank you for your reply, I registered my Sister on the GOV.UK, she only had her diagnosis confirmed approx 3 weeks ago. She has received a text saying she is extremely vulnerable and she must not go out, but I don't seem to be able to register her for Sainsbury's online shopping. I am but there doesn't seem to be any way of relating the information to them that you are also shopping for two other vulnerable people.@Jan L Thats so unfair, I don't think the goverment really understand what caring for a person with dementia involves. Would your sister or her husband be classed as vulnerable on the gov website? have you tried registering your sister or her husband as the vulnerable person for a priority slot and you order on all your behalves?
Hi Richard, thank you for your reply, I have managed to get through to Sainsbury's and to register myself for a priority slot, based on me being over 70. It took several days checking to find a slot which was 2 weeks away and I am expecting a delivery tomorrow.Hi Jan... I don't know if this will help, but Sainsbury have put out this statement about shopping online
If you live in England and you are over 70 years of age
You can get access to priority home delivery slots by calling us on 0800 953 4988
If you live in Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland and you are vulnerable or over 70 years of age
We’re working hard to gather details of elderly and vulnerable people living in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. If this applies to you, please call us on 0800 953 4988.
Thinking of you!
Richard
Of our 2 supermarkets in town, Sainsburys have not been able to grasp the problem of anyone, for whatever reason unable to shop in store.Hi Jan... I don't know if this will help, but Sainsbury have put out this statement about shopping online
If you live in England and you are over 70 years of age
You can get access to priority home delivery slots by calling us on 0800 953 4988
If you live in Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland and you are vulnerable or over 70 years of age
We’re working hard to gather details of elderly and vulnerable people living in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. If this applies to you, please call us on 0800 953 4988.
Thinking of you!
Richard
Of our 2 supermarkets in town, Sainsburys have not been able to grasp the problem of anyone, for whatever reason unable to shop in store.
But our Morrisons have "Community Champions" who shop and deliver. I don't know if they are nationwide or only at Morrisons. I know who will have my custom in the future.
Well it really is hard for you . Anyone who cares for someone with dementia has a difficult job. My husband is not bad physically but has no short term memory, and so asks the same thing over and over again, can’t ask him to do much as by the time I have asked he has forgotten what he is supposed to be doing. I am 90 and have a very bad back, I hope there will be a little help there for me if he gets to needing physical care. Thinking of you both, and wishing you well. Phyl G.I am 74 and a Carer for my Husband (77)who is in the later stages of Dementia. He no longer knows my name, he can't speak only to say yes or no, but not necessarily the right answer, he can't find his way around the house, so I can't leave him in a room on his own very long, as I have to direct him to the toilet, and then have to try to get him to take his trousers and pants down and help him decide whether he needs to sit down or stand up. If I don't he will pee in the wash basin or the bath, anything white or stainless steel in the kitchen, I do sometimes, in the evening, end up going to sleep after only having 3/4 hours a night of sleep, the night before. He can walk, but very slowly, and can't understand the need to distance from other people when we are out. I haven't been out for 2 weeks now and have relied on others to get my shopping as I can't get a slot online for delivery or click and collect. On top of this my Sister 79, who supports me, has been recently diagnosed with blood cancer, her Husband 77 has MS and is unable to walk, they are not very good on the computer. I hoped I would be able to order groceries etc for all of us, they only live across the road, but this just doesn't seem possible, when I went on to the GOV website to register as vulnerable for priority slots of delivery or click and collect, they say I do not qualify. It is all so frustrating. I do not have any Carers for my Husband so do everything myself for how long I do not know.
Well it really is hard for you . Anyone who cares for someone with dementia has a difficult job. My husband is not bad physically but has no short term memory, and so asks the same thing over and over again, can’t ask him to do much as by the time I have asked he has forgotten what he is supposed to be doing. I am 90 and have a very bad back, I hope there will be a little help there for me if he gets to needing physical care. Thinking of you both, and wishing you well. Phyl G.
Hi Richard, thank you for your reply, I was eventually able to get through to the automated telephone machine at Sainsbury's on the number you quote. I was able to quote my Nectar Card number, the order number from the last order I did on line so on entering my date of birth it said that I qualified for a priority slot. It didn't give me the opportunity to explain any further about my circumstances. I did get a slot for a delivery 2 weeks away. That was delivered last Saturday. I have been putting together the next order based on my usual weekly shop, plus those items which come up from time to time, but I wasn't able to get a slot for this weekend, so am again checking for a slot to come up, but who knows when that will be. I will be asking someone else to get my weekend shop tomorrow (meat and fresh stuff, bread and milk) so will not need the shop on the system until mid/end next week, the last think I want is to over order and waste anything, it puts so much more pressure onto an already difficult situation, I would just like to go out and do my own shop.Of our 2 supermarkets in town, Sainsburys have not been able to grasp the problem of anyone, for whatever reason unable to shop in store.
But our Morrisons have "Community Champions" who shop and deliver. I don't know if they are nationwide or only at Morrisons. I know who will have my custom in the future.
Hi Richard, thank you, it is very kind of you to check. I am trying to get by doing the best I can. My New Year's Resolution was to try to get help at home to make it easier for me to look after my Husband at home and/or a day care place to give me some freedom to walk occasionally. We were both Walk Leaders with the local Walking for Health group, obviously my Husband had to give up Walk Leading some time ago, but as his mobility has deteriorated he hasn't been able to join in the walks for some time. I haven't been able to go either since the beginning of December, I miss the exercise and the companionship. I joined the local Carers Association, they sent a welcome pack and promised a call back, I heard nothing for 6 weeks then I received a letter to say that they had tried to ring but couldn't get hold of me so they quoted a phone number telling me to ring back if I still needed anything. I find it amazing that those dealing with people seeking help give up so easily, they clearly have no idea of what Carers are going through and how difficult it is to find the courage to ask for help. Now we have Corvid-19 to deal with so having Carers in the home is not an option or sending loved ones into Day Care or for respite isn't possible, and if it was, would probably be a death sentence. I carry on as best I can and hope I can continue to cope on my own 24/7. My Husband can no longer find the bathroom and if he does he doesn't know what to do or use when he gets there so I am up every 2 - 2 1/2 hours. It all gets very frustrating and you just feel you are going to explode.