Invisible

[sqeaker]

Hello everyone sorry to be so negative but im struggling with the person who changes mood so quick, We had a lovely day yesterday he was nice smiling giving me a kiss, then today he is moody not very nice and im thinking what have I done!!!
I turn myself inside out to make things nice for him, then he says I dont do anything for him why dont I leave.the Altzheimers has effected his speech so he struggles to get words out, that's so frustrating for him.

I have to clean wet beds abd pants and it hurts when he is horrible I know its not him but how do other people cope. I have started just before Christmas with a sitter 3 hours one day a week but I stopped it as he got so moody and wouldn't speak to me,

Sorry for ranting but its so hard.

sqeaker

 

[marionq]

Go back to having a sitter and develop a harder shell with his moods. Dementia makes people irrational and you have to preserve your own health and sanity in the face of that.

 

[marionq]

I hope others who are experiencing similar can advise. What age is your husband?

 

[Grannie G]

Mood swings were my downfall too @sqeaker. They are like switching lights on and off and in our case, there didn`t seem to be any trigger.

I agree about going back to the sitter. You get the moods anyway so one more won`t hurt if you can have a few positive hours for yourself.

I can still remember my first break when I took my kindle to the seafront, bought a takeaway coffee and enjoyed gazing out to sea and a quiet read.

 

[Alex54]

My advice is to ask the care agency to send over different staff for half hours calls and see which person (male or female) your husband will accept. My wife (PWD) only gets along with three of the agency we use, some she would yell at as soon as they entered the room.

The other thing is to use the sitters for your own benefit if they come in to help you, then your husband might be less agitated.

 

[Guzelle]

I know how you feel my OH is the same. one day nice and grateful for looking after him the next really horrible and shouting saying I haven’t taught him how to do things that’s why he can’t use the microwave or TV remote. Asks for a divorce and it can go on all day. It’s so upsetting when you know your own life has stopped and all you do is care for them! I am hoping to get a companion/ sitter I know he won’t want it but I need a break myself so will let you know how it goes.

 

[dancer12]

My husband didn't want to admit to himself or to me that he needed help. I called PSW to come & clean him up 3 times a week and also I have one come in to give me a break while I go to my support group. He has gotten used to having them and now enjoys their company, he complains every so often that they talk to much but I'm sure they feel the same about him sometimes He seems to be more pleasant to them than to me.

 

[jenniferjean]

he complains every so often that they talk to much

I have a carer come in and sit with my husband for two hours each week. It's not always the same one, but whoever it is I get the same comment from my husband - they talk too much.