Haylett letting go is the hardest thing in the world. Well it is way up there anyway as one of them. But it is the singular most liberating, freeing thing that I have done. I was carrying the weight of my siblings' appalling behaviour around with me.
I was allowing them to rent space in my head, that was making my life miserable. I was stressing over how to stop a brother raiding mum's life savings, he was dipping in taking the cash and having some lovely little holidays. After telling mum he was destitute of course.
Who was the fool? I know I can look myself in the mirror and know the person I am looking at has done her very best for mum, that's invaluable. But in letting him upset me, while he holidayed, it just made me look at my worries, my stress and think my life was worth more than spending it stressing over his bad behaviour. I still try to protect mum but the time I spend with it at the forefront of my mind is substantially less. Almost negligable when it was taking over.
It's not easy, I know it's not easy but I had a great counsellor and a great group though Age Concern who helped me through.
I was allowing them to rent space in my head, that was making my life miserable. I was stressing over how to stop a brother raiding mum's life savings, he was dipping in taking the cash and having some lovely little holidays. After telling mum he was destitute of course.
Who was the fool? I know I can look myself in the mirror and know the person I am looking at has done her very best for mum, that's invaluable. But in letting him upset me, while he holidayed, it just made me look at my worries, my stress and think my life was worth more than spending it stressing over his bad behaviour. I still try to protect mum but the time I spend with it at the forefront of my mind is substantially less. Almost negligable when it was taking over.
It's not easy, I know it's not easy but I had a great counsellor and a great group though Age Concern who helped me through.