Introduction

[thassos]

My 89-year old mother lives with my husband and I. My sister lives close by and visits our mother. We all work full-time and have Carewatch in 3 times per day to make sure she is okay. She is extremely resistant to anything medical and to say the word 'doctor' goes down like a lead balloon. I wanted her to be assessed for dementia but to say the word 'hospital' produces a dreadful result even if the assessment venue is only in the grounds of the hospital. This aversion has worsened with time and makes everything very difficult. So she has not been officially diagnosed with any kind of dementia but I strongly feel that she is suffering from it. Her memory is getting progressively worse, she can ask me the same question 5 times in 20-30 minutes. She gets everything confused and my sister and I have to question each other to make sure we are getting the right story. Last night for example she came into the kitchen to say something like 'could we leave the changes to her bed until the next day'. I truly didn't know what she was talking about but my husband felt it was best to just say 'that's fine'.
Nice to meet you all, with good wishes to you.

 

[Tin]

At 89 your mother should be able to get a home visit from gp. I may be wrong, but I think even a memory test can be carried out at home. If you have home visit appointments, sorry to be direct, but don't tell her. Write a letter to her gp setting out all your concerns and her fear of clinics and hospitals.

Caring for a dementia sufferer is hard, hard, hard. So welcome to the biggest resource of help there is.

 

[Haylett]

Thassos, has your mother had a flu jab? Would she have one? V good idea to write to the GP or make an appointment to see them and express your concerns privately. Then possibly the GP could call round on the pretext of a flu jab, or "routine" check of records but conduct the memory test in the process. Subterfuge doesn't feel good but sometimes it's necessary.